We were asked to join a group for a few beers last night – they spoke english so it was good to have a chat and find some insights about chongqing. For us, strange questions were asked: ‘I am chinese, so what do you think of me?, How do you respond? I just said ‘I don’t really know you, becuase I just met you 10 minutes ago – but you seem like a very nice person’. The questions are direct – how much money do you earn? What religion are you? etc. The sort of questions that are a little out of bounds at home. There are not many foriegners here – so their is a great interest in us. Why are we here? He tells me he is a real estate developer – to buy a home here – you own it for forty years and then you have to buy it again – like a leasehold. I said who owns it once your lease is finished. He said ‘oh, noone knows really’?. He says real estate is expensive, but I don’t see many people living on the street – so family must really look after each other. He says that most families always live together.
He tells us that China has nothing to believe in – what do I think? He tells me China is corrupt? What do i think? What do I think of the politics of China? He then tells me he works for ‘the party’. Matt and I were left wondering if we just had an interogation from the ‘part of the Chinese Republic party?’, or just having a polite conversation. Since I have been here, I have found no one really talks politics here at all – its sort of a out of bounds subject. Matt and I look at each other, laugh. This is the first political conversation I have had in China – and becuase of this, we felt something might have been a bit scew. We asked each other – why was he talking to us about politics? We felt we were turning into the Chinese idealogy – you might not like the government – but you don’t talk about it! When we ask what people think about the Ai Wei Wei situation – they say – ‘oh, he is a bit stupid – he doesn’t know how things are done here – he has had a life full of privalidges because his family is connected and he should respect it. He should know when to shut up’ – ‘he is taking great advantage of the international media’.
We are always trying to make sense of what happens in our day – there is so much of the day to day you just don’t understand – the nuances, everything is so different to what we know – I guess we are observers and slow responders.
Its an amazing experience being here, but it would take decades of living here before you could understand what is going on, and even then, your white skin would be a barrier. I do know it feels incredible safe – but at the same time, with Pablo, we are open, trusting, but always a little on guard, ready to respond if its needed. This sort of ‘vigilance’ creates a deep awareness of your day because the environment is so very different from at home. At home, I can go through a day and not remember much of it – as if on automatic, habituated to my environment. I can easily read signs, I know the etiquette, I know the small talk – things are easy. Here, there is constant responding and adjusting – I love the feeling – its addictive, time seems to go slower, by the end of the day you seem to have learnt more than you knew in the morning.
Also, I know its always a very different experience knowing you have a ticket out – this is an experience, given to me by Asialink, but I know it will end, so I seem to spend my days in gratitude of the experience. At the same time, if I was living here – and breathing in this air constantly, and being surrounded by people, I wonder if I would feel suffocated.
Today you can see about 400 meters and I can feel the effects of this in my throat
