This being a student lark, at my age, is a strange beast. I’m wondering how I might cope after September, without the structure of course tutorials to hold me on track. Yesterday I had a short feedback tutorial after the assessment. I was very gratified with my mark, and was happy with the work I had submitted. It’s a real boost to hear complimentary comments about the work from people I respect though (yes of course I respect my fellow students too, but you know what I mean). Especially when the comments are concerned with more recent work I’ve been worrying about. My Liberty bodice and Lullaby were considered “an interesting departure” from previous work, and it was felt I had reached a “watershed” in my work. It was this feature that enabled me to squeeze a distinction out of the marker. I mention my age, because at times I feel I have some of the inexperience and naivete of younger students, but with this old cynical head on. I have a huge gap in my life as an artist, and feel I have to work like stink to catch up. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go about things. There are loads of things I don’t know. Sometimes I’m brave enough to ask, sometimes my panicky blank face strikes pity into people and they kindly tell me. Sometimes, I scribble things down on a bit of paper and look it up later. Then I promptly forget it.
In the weeks running up to the assessment, I felt more student than artist. This week I feel like an artist again. I have ideas to work on, songs to sing, stitches to sew. My final show is more than 7 months away. My life/work/attitude have changed so much in the last 7 months, I don’t dare think about how they might change again before then.
Exciting times! My heart beats a little faster, and sometimes there’s a lump in my throat. Occasionally I get over-stimulated and need to sit in a darkened room.
Oh, the photograph is of the place I set up the player and headphones for Lullaby. I was worried that I hadn’t given enough thought to this siting, just throwing a black cloth over everything, aiming the lights away, so that the listener sat in a dim corridor at the bottom of the basement stairwell, looking at the spotlit dark panelling, black and red tiles, and the cupboard under the stairs. They seemed to find it interesting… but I’m not sure still.
Have a look, listen to it again if you want (please ignore crappy accompanying video) and let me know. Song number 2 is half finished and I need to resolve some installation and listening issues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmo4KSz3Nsw
