‘Reverse preconceptions – high expectations’
Autism Research Centre. October 24th: Wake early disturbed by nights dreaming. Pack bag then wash – trying to ignore the hum. Down to breakfast sit on own and observe the few others down at that time – recognised by waitress – feeling ashamed I wasted half portion of marmalade – collect bags one with computer and the transparent case with artwork. Leave to find a foggy drizzle packed with students heading all directions – follow now familiar (takes only one trip to become available as a neuro ‘DVD rerun’) route to ARC using ‘stops’ on may as mnemonic to learn areas of the brain careful of leaves coating the pavement – pretty clumsy without any distraction or slipping opportunity – Ring door bell noticing patterns imposed on the Victorian tiles remaining – In welcomed again and sorted out with badge 12. No plans to distract day as a starting point give out ‘cards’ of image taken and manipulated last visit and showing ‘book work’ as previously promised. Spend morning chatting and catching up with various people about ‘neuro-imaging’, music and sound then set about an email listing links and backing up work done on new memory stick – distracted by systemising almost miss the communal lunch time. Accidentally capture spider while eating – the staff is quite international so the conversations are varied and rich – spend the afternoon chatting and gathering with people I haven’t caught up with yet – interesting but tiring as constantly looking for connections and patterns which correlate whist practicing badly to ‘read’ clues to expression – new information instantly floods senses with ideas – woken up shaken off PTSD cloak temporarily – accidental comments and meeting can be rich in material – arrange to meet with others I have missed later in week – I am questioned in return about how my aspergers influences or affects my work – as part of the project I am deliberately open to questioning – all or nothing – you would have thought neuroscientists would find conversing with a person with aspergers commonplace – it’s not – they only tend to collide with those on a ‘study’ or unwell – repeatedly told how interesting and opportune my openness is for them – people start to disperse – work for a while – head out into the gloom of nose to tail traffic and walk via ‘tea collection’ to the Hotel – hum – its they’re enquire at desk reluctantly source is found – the fire door magnetic catch – ironic – MRI information large part of the day. Encouraged by and elated by the sudden absence of ‘hum’ a bath to think – try to ‘relax but distracted by patterns of nozzle outlets in shower head displayed – multiples of 4 and 8 – sit and write blog from day – no discernible effect – write slowly – man whistles quite flat – mentally guard fire door – quite so far – regretting no Mahler on MP3 player – green robot – blue Godzilla – sleep late
