I picked a damn odd day to work in the studio. Alternate blue skies and blizzard style snow tipping down. And it’s bitter here in the studio.
I’ve not been feeling on top form lately. We’ve had a fair few illnesses going round the family, and when you have a small baby mixed with baby groups, you have widespread germs. Last week we were dealing with hand, foot and mouth disease. Admittedly not something very arty, but these types of problems really affect me and my work, and my ability to get into the studio etc. It’s a huge problem. And one with no answer.
Juggling being a mother and an artist is not easy. Especially when we are talking about a small baby. Not only is there the physical aspect of being at home vs the studio, but there’s a tremendous amount of guilt attached to the whole shebang. I’ve recently joined a facebook networking collective called Lean In. It’s all about empowering women to ‘lean in’ and take control of their future. It’s about striving for equality in the work place and part of this debate is heavily focused on parenting. Apparently only 4% of the top 100 CEOs are female. That’s just a crazy statistic.
Importantly though, I think it demonstrates how easy it becomes for us mothers to assume the role of a last century guilt ridden Irish Catholic. Men don’t suffer any guilt about leaving their children at home and going out to earn the crust. We give that to ourselves, handed down from mother to daughter like a bad case of pink eye.
Thing is… without a serious amount of cash spent on Derren Brown… how on earth does someone stop feeling guilty? And when will I stop feeling like what I ‘Do’ (for want of a better phrase) is just self indulgent drivel?
Right. Time to face the cold out there and get a beef fried rice dish, and then get back to painting. Mush!
