Disapointmenticus
Portsmouth 17th July
Today I was due to finish my rest and recuperation time I had had to set up (from PTSD which is now gone but still suffer exhaustion and Depression) before I started on the reviewing process for Look About – Unfortunately I received some unexpected news and reacted badly to this due to my personality (as a person with aspergers) I have felt I been slipping back into depression for a few weeks – its always been a constant companion but I keep busy as much as I can – but my attempting to work as hard as I have before failed – sometimes you have to recognise what you can and cant do and resting is alien to me as freelancer – artist 247 – so in response I wrote the following in deep disappointment:
Promises
are like
worthless word-fields
their fruits empty husks
bound with string
to distorted stalks
endlessly stretching
in every direction
as far as my eyes can see
I will start tomorrow gently by briefing the artist who will be acting as my access support – I can write reasonably but not read unreasonably.
Fingers crossed I will not be bound and have to cut my way free – I make a day log of the day – mapping the false start of the mapping review and marking my disappointment with strong black biro lines that cut thru the paper to the fresh sheet behind.
