I wouldn't normally enter a post again so soon but I feel like I have a million thoughts buzzing around in my head that I need to get out.
I have this week received a number of emails from the Curator of C4RD. From the first email he sent to me at the beginning of the week, I really felt that something wasn't right. He was asking me to justify what I was doing and the imagery I was using in my work….this I thought completely reasonable although a little strange since I had applied openly and honestly describing where I was at with my work and where my interests lie. But anyway, I replied and reinforced my area of interest and some thoughts about what I might do. I had no original guidance or instruction from them about what they wanted, I had basically been told very little apart from, we like your work. He then emailed me back, saying basically that he had thought to include me in a show with two other artists, who when I checked out their stuff, I thought very constrasting to mine, but yes, I could see the connection. He also changed the time frame from about 6 months (although I was given no date or even an idea of a month, just next year) to 1 month. I said I would try my best, and come to the gallery to discuss it further.
Yesterday however I was sent a mammoth email which without trying to sound childish, did sound really pompus and over intellectualised purely for affect. It specifically instructed me about what I should do and what I should be dealing with in my work. He ended by mentioning that he believed his ideas about the direction I should take my work in would be benefitial to my progression (adding…and the gallery's of course) To say it felt completely over bearing is an understatement!
I hate to sound ungrateful for the opportunities that are offered to me, but in this instance I have felt squeezed and pushed and all that needed to be different was for them to be more open with me in the beginning. I know I am early in my career, I know I have lots to find out, and lots to learn but I also know what feels right and what feels contrived. I therefore turned the opportunity down and although very disappointed doing this, also confident that I had no other option. I'll take what I can from this experience and move on, what other option do I have?
