I did have a decent amount of time in the studio this week but strangely didn’t feel as productive as I thought I might. I have so much to be getting on with and have a clear idea of the steps I need to be taking to get things progressing, yet for some reason the brain didn’t really feel like engaging with the tasks. It’s frustrating to have a bad mood come along and disable my productivity for a good few days. Friday I sort of managed to shake it off enough to make some progress but I felt annoyed at myself for wasting so much time floating around with a vacant head on. Where did it come from?
Now it’s Saturday and I’m back at the gallery working. We are having a closing down sale; the inevitable is happening and what will happen to my job after the end of April -who knows! Like always with this job I’m keeping my head down, my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. I need it more than I am admitting to myself really. It is my only steady income and allows things to tick over (although admittedly only just).
I have also this week started looking into studios available around this area and this has been another thing that has darkened my mood. There seems to be so little on offer. I really want to remain part of a studio group rather than working in an isolated space. I still have a year left at Digswell Arts Trust but am aware of how hard it is to find a good place to work and am trying to be prepared. Instead it is just leaving me a little despondent. Basically, I am not going to be able to afford anything and if there is some little diamond place out there at an affordable price, will I ever find it? How will I survive without a place to work? I have got the 2 year MA course due to start in September and all the cost of that. Even if I do get the funding it’s going to be expensive, so much uncertainty….blah, blah, blah. I will stop now; it would appear I’m currently only in the mood to see problems and negatives. I hope to write a much more positive post soon.
I am very grateful for having a place to spill out my anxieties and was lightened up this morning by a good read of other recent posts. I find myself addicted to checking fellow bloggers updates and finding out how they are getting on. It has given me a real valuable insight into how other artists manage the everyday reality of being an artist.
