During my read – through of the blog, I noticed that I have scarcely mentioned the links between my dissertation and my current art practice. I decided to revisit the dissertation and to draw some parallels between the themes I discussed there and my own work.
My dissertation began with a quote by Joan Gibbons, taken from her book Contemporary Art and Memory: Images of Recollection and Remembrance (2007)
” The claims that are made and the stories that are told in the name of memory can alter people’s understanding of the world and, of course, alter the ways in which they act in or upon that world.” (Gibbons, 2007, p.1)
She went on to say that contemporary art has used memory in a variety of ways. The particular use of memory that applies to my work and to the work of Louise Bourgeois, Frida Kahlo and Tracey Emin, the artists whose work I explored in my dissertation, is autobiography. That is to say, private memories being brought into the public domain.
Certain works; Destruction of the Father by Louise Bourgeois, My Birth and Henry Ford Hospital by Frida Kahlo and Why I Never Became a Dancer by Tracey Emin refer to the concept of Nachtraglichkeit, as does my own current work. Loss of Innocence and Words being two examples.
This term was originally conceived by Sigmund Freud in his essay Project for a Scientific Psychology (1895) and means deferred action.
This is when an experience is so traumatic, that it cannot be dealt with at the time. At some later date, when it feels safe to do so, the memories are used to re-visit the past as a means of processing the experience with what is felt in the present and brings a new level of understanding.
When I was growing up I thought that the sexual abuse that I had suffered was somehow my fault, and I carried the burden of that guilt and shame inside myself for many years. My ongoing silence led to difficulties with communication and trust, and left me with a complete lack of self-worth which continued into adulthood.
It is only since I began to re-visit those memories and to process the experiences they held, that I began to see the truth of the situation. Making this work has been a cathartic process for me, and it is my hope that it will help to show the emotional cost to the victims of this crime.
