It’s pouring with rain and it’s about that time I would have taken the dog for a walk. And I would have moaned about it as it was raining, but do you know what? I put my water proof jacket on and went for that walk. I went over the golf course like we used to, keeping up to date with developments over there.
My waterproof jacket is a bright green hi-viz one and I thought that if any building work was going on I would be able to get a little closer to it, as if I was a contractor looking in a hole for a spade or measuring something. I thought I might blend in slightly and get away with looking around before I was told to go away. I no longer have the excuse of the dog being off the lead. I have before had conversations without any words with builders and security staff by holding up a dog lead with no dog on the end, and pointing at a dog 30 yards away. Waving as if to say ‘Thanks’ and walking on undisturbed. I can’t pull that one off any more.
But as it turned out there was no building work, no diggers, no workmen. It was as it has always been. Just empty land, like a country park. I did see a single circular weight from a set of dumbbells, probably a 5lbs, then I thought it would be kilos and I just stopped myself as I started walking to pick it up to see what it did weigh, thinking why are you bothering with that? I saw a bedraggled sleeping bag and a plastic washing basket?I could see the trenches that had been dug and filled in again, there were dozens and dozens of these, just big brown lines on the ground, kind of like Nasca lines in Peru? No they were not that good, it would be interesting to see what they looked like from above though.
I tell you what they did remind me of; even though they were a bit too long for this, it did feel like being in a cricket match. As a bowler you have walk up to the wicket or the ‘strip’ and say to the umpire ‘right arm over’ or ‘left arm round’ or whatever your bowling action is. Then you have to pace out your run up, by starting at the batting crease with your back to the wicket you’re going to bowl at and walking off towards the boundary counting however many yards you feel is right for you run up. All the players are watching you do this as the tension builds. You go back to the umpire and give him your jumper and your cap, he has already got one on his head so he has two caps on now. Then you start pointing at a few fielders making gestures with your arms and hands, left a bit, bit more and shouting things like..deeper….more … then another fielder no no shorter .. shorter that’s it. Then you want a gully and someone has to run round from a long way to get there…no no just behind square….no too much.. square’er square’er ..that’s it. Then the non strike batsman starts sledging you! Saying ‘It aint a Fkcunig Test Match Mate. You can’t let that go and you have to say something back like, ‘that’s right because you’re playing’. I did not pace out my run up, or run in as if I was going to bowl, it was way too muddy and I had me wellies on. Can’t play cricket in wellies.
