It was only after finishing my dissertation on Louise Bourgeois, that I realised how much she used the sphere and spherical / near spherical objects, along with circular symbolism in her work. I was genuinely astonished, as I had started making large papier-mache balls without giving the area much consideration. I think I had personally recognised the joy I had experienced throughout my life coming into contact with spherical-objects and in some way, I wanted to work with that sense of childish pleasure. I had also felt at a point of ‘creative block’ when I started making them as a stop-gap idea, thinking that they might help move me onto another proper project. It was only when a technician commented on my ‘balls’, that I saw that they may be interpreted as being rude and it jolted me to remember Louise Bourgeois’ work that had influenced my dissertation subject choice. This piece was called ‘Fillette'(1968) and is a creation by Bourgeois that resembles not only the male penis and testicles, but on closer inspection, also elements of the female sexual anatomy. I considered taking my own balls in this direction and it may well still be one in which they go, although at present I am purely seeing the influence of Bourgeois’ work in terms of shape and form.
In wanting to create large spherical objects, I felt at a loss as to how to do this in an economical way. It seemed that large hard-balls would be difficult to make, especially if on a budget and financially squeezed. I considered my options to overcome any obstacles. Options I considered, were plaster/cement finished balls and glass-fibre balls. Both these options felt unacceptable as the plaster/cement options would render them too heavy and breakable, and glass-fibre would be expensive and also very toxic to work with. Due to these considerations, I decided to go with a far less technical choice – of working with large beach balls covered in PVA and papier-mache. The process was quite time consuming, but once layers were built up with PVA, the resulting balls were quite durable.
This project opened itself up to me in many ways. The process of making these balls has led to me having to question what psychological and artistic theories are driving this project. Making large balls is pretty surreal and abstract, but the actual process of making them has been a major part of the journey. Psychologically, they have demanded that I step back from time-constraints. It takes about about 35-40 minutes to cover one ball with a single layer of PVA and paper and it takes 8-10 layers to give a fairly solid and hard finish. To deal with this I have had to psychologically become one with the process and enter into what seems like a meditative state.
There is a joy of working with a sphere, smoothing it off, turning it….. Part of the journey for me has been purely in the process of their creation. When making them, I couldn’t help thinking about Jackson Pollock’s work. Although Pollock’s journey of ‘process’ was the applying of paint in his own individual way to canvas; in the making of these balls, I could feel what I imagined was a similar process. It appeared easy to move into an altered-state; there was no real need to think too much about the making, as it became intuitive. As I write this blog, I even wonder why I need to do anything else to these pieces once they are covered in paper…. in some ways they are a perfect expression (at least to me), of the whole meditative process of ‘making’. I am reminded of Louise Bourgeois’ famous statement that “Art is a guarantee of sanity” (Kohon, 2016, p.35). Certainly as far as I am personally concerned, the making of art and especially the making of my spheres has been a process that has fostered a sense of meditation and relaxation.
Perhaps there is a risk in the danger of taking these spherical structures onto a further stage in their development. I am aware that in doing so there is a risk of ‘failure’. Whilst these structures are in the process of being made, I have a great excuse for not creating pieces of ‘failed art’, specifically because they are not finished. Finishing a piece of art seems to carry a risk of judgement by others (and myself). This seems especially true in this case, where I am thinking of them contributing to a final piece for my degree. Bayles and Orland, discuss the perils of art-making in their book ‘Art and Fear’ (1993). Part of my own problem in creating art is that I feel like a fraud and not a ‘real’ artist’. Bayles and Orland discuss this aspect of art-making and state,
“The fear that you’re only pretending to do art is the (readily predictable) consequence of doubting your own artistic credentials. After all. You know better than anyone else the accidental nature of much that appears in your art…” (Bayles and Orland, p.24, 1993).
