We have moved house and this has shifted a lot of things. For example, we now have a carpet (circa 1965) which makes for a different kind of floor and I haven’t found a way to create drawings here yet. Instead we have been working in a new material, sticklebricks, and I have been documenting abie’s attempts at collages which look strangely like some kind of abstract paintings.
Tonight I’m watching Lynn Barber interviewing Philidda Barlow on Bbc 2.
Phillida Barlow says – having children is completely incompatible with being an artist (she had 5) – but then she managed to keep going, teaching and raising 5 children. And she talks about having a kind of perseverance of carrying on making art whether or not you have success.
This makes me think about success and failure. I applied for a bursary for some funding for ‘time out’ – childcare and costs to cover mentoring. I didn’t get it, which was disappointing. But I think as an artist you get used to a measure of rejection. Last year I remember going to an interview after being woken up 5 or 6 times by my baby son, and doing my best but being aware I wasn’t at my best. I think what I’ve realised though is that you just keep trying, you keep doing it, and its not all going to be successful but some of it will get there.
This is kind of the case in making the work as well; admitting difficulties to yourself, points in the process where it feels really hard, like it just won’t come together. I’ve been working on the installation in my studio now for months and its finally coming together, and will be exhibited in April, May and June.
I’ve also started a new commission which is for a public art work in Droitwich, based on its history as a salt producing town. This is exciting and I’ve been thinking about how I will research the commission, I love the wide open feeling of a new project.
Tomorrow is mother’s day.
