making words – making marks – making soup – making plans. after my wobbly week i sort this week to get myself back into a better frame of mind.
its not until i drew out my connections to what i’m interested in i got a clearer idea of why at times i feel a little stretched. in amongst it all though is my need to be with people and feel i’m involved in something that i’m present and connected to.
i may have talked previously about the two new opportunities that i’m still waiting to get going.
i do have another recently begun connection. i’m mentoring a young person. all i can say here is from the training to the actual action there is quite a move and i’m needing someone to talk to from the organisation to help me process what i’m feeling. this is on back order.
this week has provided me with a forest school session that is firmly on my top 5 most memorable. it was tuesday – raining – chucking it down. from the last session we knew there was a want to make soup. we made soup in the rain – everyone involved loved doing it and it tasted fantastic. we also discovered how much fun can be had drawing on the under side of wild garlic leaves. i had a sense of achievement and pride at the end of the session.
the rain was in contrast to the day before while i sat in a field and chatted on the phone with sue ball. sue continues to be involved with the arts and heritage strategy of the museum of making at derby silk mill. we chatted about lots of things connected to the project and other life things in general. i also told her about shimmering place not making it into doc fest. i wasn’t disappointed about this – i sensed this would be the outcome – if i were to be absolutely open with you. the thing is though that i felt and those around me felt that the project was suitable to submit.
the submission process being another part of informing how this tranche concluded.
over the years i’ve documented many disappointments connected to submitting. i’m still submitting – less frequently now – and each time i submit the process of submitting in itself become beneficial. at a personal level some success would be nice but ‘m becoming more resilient – i’e learnt to submit and not care.
this week saw me making another birthday card for my friend in norfolk. probably now for over 10 years i’ve made him, his wife and their two children a birthday card each each year. a few years ago they told me how they keep the cards. i don’t know if they still do. i begin to imagine an exhibition of the cards year by year. my friend will have a gap for his birthday 10 years ago. jerry hope had recently passed away after illness and i was too distract to honour my card making.
i’ve been using my personal journal more lately to record and try to make sense of all the mixed emotions an feelings happening at the moment.
i’ve finally updated my phone. when going through the past images i found this one – i love the intensity and looking at it now i find it quite challenging as i’m forcing myself to look at part of myself. its easy to do when i talk or write about myself – this image holding something i don’t fully understand yet.
