Thursday and Friday afternoon were spent (re)photographing old artworks that I had either documented poorly or not at all. The photographs are definitely better than those that they replace though I am sure that could still be better.
I made the conscious decision to enjoy the process – to take my time, and not be too hard on myself. I am an artist rather than a photographer. Some of the work was from 2007/8, some from 2018. I had not intended to photograph the 2007/8 work, I found them while searching for something else and it seemed appropriate to document them too. The pieces in question are a series, perhaps two related series, of small sculptures constructed from disposable papier-mâché urine bottles. I remember being fascinated by the form of the bottles when I came across them in the toilets at King’s College Hospital, London. These were the early days of John’s MND and a period where we seemed to make weekly trips to King’s for various consultations, tests, and discussions. Those strange grey bottles with their tactile soft surface, their almost biomorphic shape – their duck-like bodies, their thick reaching necks, their round open mouths, seemed to be easy sculptural ready-mades. They were (are) obviously related to the grand-daddy of ready-mades – Duchamp’s Urinal. The disposable bottles speak of a vulnerable (injured?) masculinity. The bottles are the antithesis of machoism.
Looking at the bottles yesterday – some glittered, some conjoined – I was struck at how appealing the form and ideas remain. Was I looking at sketches for as yet unresolved unfinished work? Until yesterday I had rarely given these works a second thought since packing them after including them in the Open House show for m2 gallery/Quay House (2009). The painted pieces are a more than a little dusty, or perhaps poorly painted in the first place, and one of the glittered pieces is evidence of my very early attempts at working with that fantastic sparkling material. Now I am wondering if, after a gap of more than ten years, it might be interesting (fun?!?) to re-engage with that work. I would like to push the ideas further than I did before. I think that after such a long hiatus my relation to the bottles would be more abstract, they would not necessarily be autobiographical or overly melancholic(?) – they could be formal perhaps even fun and frivolous. It crossed my mind that I could even play with the material – why not produce a bronze version!?!
This summer I have found myself thinking about my practice in new ways – both more fun and more professional. Thirty years since graduating from Dartington, twenty-two years since finishing at the Slade, thirteen years since John died, nine years since moving to Sweden, and five years since settling in Enköping I am perhaps on the cusp of reaching a certain maturity and confidence that might be very good for me.
