I’ve been thinking this week about my “being” an artist. By which I mean how I do it, how I exist as an artist.
The crucial thing here is the fact that I don’t do it like anyone else does. And that’s not just OK, it’s absolutely the right thing. The problem happens when some people think that artists are all the same, and have to have a perfect linear trajectory that ends up somewhere “important” in order to be valid. The bigger problem happens when artists think this. I am lucky that I have only met one or two of these… they exist but are thankfully rare.
I have come to it slowly, this “being”. I started, faltered, had a big sidestep, returned after decades, then had a big rush. There is no way that I can catch up on those years in terms of my art education, or experience, in the time I have left. But I do have time left to just get on with it from this point. Consequently I have gaps in my knowledge, knowledge that some people think I should have. Sorry… not sorry… but I don’t. If I come across something that interests me, then I will seek it out and try to learn more. But quite often I don’t, because, after writing a note in my sketchbook, I get distracted from the reading and researching and I just want to make. I spent a long time out of the studio doing wonderful things like living my life, having glorious children who are now glorious adults. I only want to get on with what I want to now, and I don’t want to feel I have to do anything, certainly not because of someone else’s expectations! I have a life full of experiences that are only mine, and my art is worked out of that life, it is valid, authentic and true and all mine. Consequently I enjoy meeting other live, working artists that I can converse with. I am less interested in the dead ones.
I have recently had the absolute pleasure and privilege of selecting a group of graduate artists for the exhibition at RBSA. Fifteen artists, all with completely different histories and stories and lives and experiences. Together they are rich and wonderful. Together they are strong because of this diversity.
Along the way one does get rejections, uncomfortable, or even hurtful criticisms, even cruel comments at times, from people who are just unaware, or sadly, aware of the upset their words can cause. The trick is, I have realised at my mature 62 years is to develop a thick skin, to gather around me people who are generous spirits and energy creators, not consumers (Thank you Charles Weston)… and just get on with it. By surrounding myself with the good stuff, I can shake off the less good more easily. I can also see things and people more clearly for what they are, and ignore them, not take it personally… even if the person doing it is doing so deliberately, I can see it as more about them than me.
While I spend the rest of this year recharging myself, I intend to put myself out and actually visit these wonderful people I know…starting with the UK, but I am also saving up to go further. The trip to America has emboldened me. I shall talk to the live artists while we are all alive… so be warned folks… I’m coming!
