This evening I begin my slow journey back to Uppsala – intentionally … purposefully … knowingly … slow. Talk of ’slow’ has pervaded … perfumed … the fair. Slow as good, … slow as intelligent … slow as engagement … slow as politic. Slow is the new urgent … urgently slow. Appreciative of the space that slow unfolds I do not feel a pressure to dissect, analysis, understand, assess, evaluate the fair immediately. Instead I shall allow things to settle. I shall learnt to be comfortable with the anxiety that I might miss or forget something vital … eventually that anxiety will lessen – I expect to learn that I do not and will not miss or forget anything essential … it might just be that it doesn’t crop up until much later. Urgency is unsustainable, peace perhaps offers duration.
It has been a long time since I attended a fair that isn’t Supermarket, and an even longer time since I attended a fair outside of Sweden. It has been enriching … nourishing. As I continue to settle in to Uppsala I want to develop an international context. Yes there is much to be done in Uppsala – to be honest that can easily feel as though I giving a lot of myself without getting so much in return … I am sure that this is both untrue and a phase that I go though in the process of settling and find my place and pace. I have thoroughly enjoyed the range of perspectives and references … the openness to listen and to speak. It feels as though I come to understand myself through my response(s).
This morning Pam and I are meeting for coffee – it so exciting to have open ended discussions with her … to be working towards something as yet unknown and to be comfortable with that. The abstract …enquiring … unchartered … nature of our thinking and working is such a joy. Drawing the map as we go … which of course requires a particular level of attention and sensitivity. I am very pleased to be developing this working relationship.
How much crazy to let out? Both my practice and my extended practice need and deserve attention, nurturing, support. That is what this year is about … time, space, experiment, deepening, extending … finding my faith … finding my brave.
