Children of artists Part II:
So can life in a family really be made more “democratic”, “child-centred”? And would it really make everyone happier?
So far I, and the other artist-parent blogs I have read, have explored the question of “being an artist with children”. But what about “being a child with an artist parent”?
So before writing this blog, I asked my kids: “What are the good bits, and the bad bits, about having an artist parent?”
“That’s a hard one” says my son, “Flipping heck, that’s hard”. He says he would like to have more ready cash floating around. A decent computer, cash for gadgets and computer games. He’s a true child of consumerism.
On the other hand: “I really enjoy the events, the bonfires and everything”. He also appreciates that I keep a stock of cheap art materials for teaching that I let him use, and when he’s really into something I let him use some of my ‘professional’ materials – canvas, acrylics, adhesives, etc.
Do the plusses outweigh the money? “I like the way we live” he responds.
My daughter is less ambivalent: “I really like art, and you can teach me how to do it, I like that … I also like being able to use your paints, I think that’s great.” She’s less enthusiastic about the events: “When you’re getting ready for an event, you’re really busy and we don’t see you, I’d like to spend more time with you. But I like the events, I like handing round food, and I like looking at your pictures”.
What about money? “I don’t like posh things all the time, they really annoy me. I just like a little bit of posh, and then just ordinary. If we had lots of money for a posh holiday, I wouldn’t enjoy it.”
And then there are the things that aren’t to do with me being an artist:
My son says: “I like not having strict rules, and that the house is messy. I’d hate to live somewhere that’s always clean with strict rules. I enjoy it like this, it’s kind of hippyish. I wish I didn’t have to go to school, though”
My daughter: “I don’t like rules, I want to be in charge. When I’m grown up, everyone’s going to have to do what I say.”
But by far the most important thing for both kids is that we stay in Oxford. They place huge value on their friends and local community. Not just school friends, but the close-knit network of adults that they’ve grown up with, who they trust, who will always be there for them. And also the familiar surroundings – the parks, the trees, the memories.
We visit Summerhill school occasionally, and the children love it – the school community quickly accommodates visiting children. “Would you like to go to Summerhill?”. The kids reply almost in unison: “Only if all our friends and grown-ups came with us”.
