More playing in the studio this week. I feel my work, my identity, my process, my ideas are all somewhere else, somewhere where I can’t quite get a grasp on them. My approach has gone from somewhere specific to somewhere increasingly vague. The plane of possibility has suddenly grown rather vast and it feels a little overwhelming. So I’m playing with lines in the studio and reading Deleuze on the train (phew). This vastness seems to of provoked a vagueness. Looking at lines, looking at corners, looking at the space around me. All I can say about my stuff at the moment is that it is unsure, searching. I have booked the project space at Wimbledon for a few days in a couple of weeks time. I feel that I need to actually work in that place. This nomad feeling is making me feel quite distant from my work. Like it is always somewhere else and I am forever having to conjure up its existence in my mind, forever recalling it and its existence somewhere else. There is an underlying need for transportation and temporariness. These altered demands on my production have brought up many questions.
I have entered the world of academia and at the moment it is a lot discussion, a lot of theories and concepts, a lot of analysing(which is proving fascinating and exciting). So what is this funny feeling I have? A loss of privacy and the protection of it just being me, maybe? I never realised my isolation provided a feeling of security in that way. I feel like my process is going to be opened up, dissected, my bubble burst. Will I be found out? Will I be exposed as a fraud? Will I be sent away with my head hung in shame or sent to the corner with the dunce hat on? Ok sounding a little neurotic but so far this course is, I guess having the desired effect…it is challenging my methods and the cozy-ness of old habits and… there doesn’t seem any place to hide.
Btw I’m on twitter and pimping myself for followers. http://twitter.com/Chrissy_Bryant
