The last post I made, and peoples’ reactions to it, beg several questions.
“Have I given up? Am I really in despair?”.
“What does it mean to be in the ‘best 3%’ of artists?”.
“Why do I want to be listed on Axis anyway?” (See Rob Turner’s comment)
“OK, I’m doing it because I love it, but do I want to achieve anything else while I’m at it?”.
There’s a certain irony in my last post. The danger with irony is that people might take you at face value. Actually, I don’t give a **** whether I’m in the “best 3%” or not, because the question of “best 3%” is utterly irrelevant for anyone trying to break new ground.
I know I’m very good; I don’t need the endorsement of AXIS to support my fragile ego, or affirm my worth. I’ve developed my own process that accords with my motivations and chosen context. That context is ideally suited to putting across my message. I’ve developed novel techniques and uses of materials that solve my construction problems. I’ve developed a strong, instantly recognisable aesthetic which is perfect for my context. I’ve worked with a wide range of other (often highly qualified and sometimes quite well known) artists, both from visual and other art forms, and am respected by my peers. I’ve developed an original coherent theory of my context, the conclusions of which extend the possibilities of my work and set my future direction. I’ve been recognised by the Arts Council with significant funding. I’ve been invited as an occasional lecturer to teach my specialism at a major art college. And, of course, thousands of people have seen my work.
I know many artists who have managed none of this. I know a few artists who have managed most of them, and maybe one other who matches all this. So how does an organisation like AXIS, whose foundation stone is to promote contemporary art and artists, justify turning me down? And how do they have the bare-faced cheek to avoid any communication on the subject?
No, I’m certainly not in despair about my own qualities, potential and future. I am despairing about changing a narrow-minded arts establishment, controlled by the dual forces of conservative academia and the fads of the rich and famous.
Why do I want to be listed on AXIS anyway? Well, the more promotional websites I can get onto the better. I certainly found that linking from ArtSelector (who are doing the radical democratic thing that AXIS set out to do) to my website pushed me up the Google rankings by several pages. It all helps to provide exposure and credibility – something I particularly need, having no art qualifications.
And is it all only for the love of it? No, it certainly isn’t. I’ve had an unusual life, and have an unusual take on the world. UK society specifically, and the globe in general, are in a mess. As artists we all have a response. Some respond by challenging the way people view a piece of paper. My own response is to challenge the way people perceive sanctity, meaning, division of labour, distribution of wealth, and the nature of self (or the self in nature).
Money and fame aren’t at issue. I only want enough money to be able to keep making (Doesn’t it sound easy?!). Fame just turns one into a pawn of the exploitative media machine.
The difficulty with bringing this to any kind of “establishment” is that establishments tend to be made up of individuals who are pretty happy with the way things are. They’re happy to try looking at a piece of paper in a different way, but looking at themselves, and their relationship to society and nature in a different, and often negative way, doesn’t appeal.
This provides me with my reason to keep breathing … and as long as I’m still breathing, I’ll still be following Rob Turner’s entreaty to “make art about whatever you like when you can. And keep pushing it out there”.
I now have an interesting collection of explosive materials in my studio. Waiting for my “Studio Day” while getting on with computer maintenance, washing up, bed time stories, laundry, cooking etc. is almost unbearable!
