The Culture of Shame/It’s time to stop making excuses for being human, Part 2:
I recently bought a Trinny and Susannah book to see if they actually do help people find clothes that work for them. The idea is really powerful (see rule 5), and no doubt contributes to their success. In telling people what clothing they should buy, they attempt to introduce cold, hard reality into self-perception. This translates into using peer pressure, insults, and categorisation to force people to feel ashamed by the status quo. For Trinny and Susannah, shame is a motivational tool. They scold you for not taking the time to iron your shirts or buff your shoes, and tell you that it isn’t just you, but a whole group of frumpy, old, boring women who do the same thing. You don’t want to be a part of them, do you? You want to feel good, don’t you? So- put in all the effort we tell you and you’ll feel great. What they completely ignore in their message is self-acceptance. They also make no allowances for individuality.
Whatever happened to the notion of self-acceptance? I don’t mean learning to live with yourself. I mean truly accepting who you are, with flaws intact. That you are not perfect, you can’t do everything at once and fulfil everyone else’s expectations. That you do what you can in your life, and being human is normal. By self-acceptance, I mean feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished instead of always bemoaning your failures.
So I am sending out a call to all shoppers everywhere- do not participate in the culture of shame! If you go shopping with your mum or your best friend, tell them you will only accompany them if they promise to not tear themselves down, and that you won’t participate in the role of the companion. It is tiring and pointless to spend time trying to convince someone that they look good. You are only responsible for your own self-perception, not someone else’s too.
It’s time to stop making excuses for being human.
-The end-
My artwork often responds to my experiences as a salesperson and as an eating disorders support worker. However this is based on very specific, individualised experience. What do the women out there reading this think of the article? Am I making too many generalizations? Should I stick to self-portraiture like the Fitting Room series (see attached images)? Does this article ring true for you?
See more from the fitting room series on my website at www.dianearcher.co.uk
Thanks for reading.
