Reality of the daily routine
Since being back from China I am really appreciating the time I had there and how I did not have to worry about money and the daily routine. As I work from home it is so easy to get caught up on the Internet, fill out a funding application, putting on a load of washing, and cruising the net for paid work. I did get a cheque in the post from the BLOP event which although was for a small amount still contributed to my travel and amenity costs. I need some paid work and have been looking at shop/cafe work to more unusual jobs such as training as a mobile spray tanner. I really enjoyed working at Paperchase over the Christmas period and I do find the whole customer service experience fascinating so I feel that I am well suited to a retail environment. There were a couple of shops in town I want to apply to so that’s what I will be doing today, and tomorrow I will get my glad rags on to hand in the applications in store.
I have had the post show blues a bit after the BLOP event. It seems strange to say but I always forget how raw I feel during and after making the work especially when there are mixed messages in the performance. When I am intervening myself in a public space I feel every look and dismissal which comes my way. The most successful bit of video footage I have got is at the end when I am clapping and singing Take A Bow in the main foyer as the crowd come out of the theatre. It’s funny as at the time I felt this was the weakest performance but on reflection I feel it is the strongest. When I watch the video documentation it makes me feel uncomfortable, as I know it is a stronger piece of work because I am being openly vulnerable and unspectacular which is hard for me to accept that my weakness is my strength. This experience has shown me how important it is for me to have video documentation to reflect on after the event to learn more about the work.
