The reason I go to exhibitions is to get inspiration (and to nick ideas) which hopefully will kick start something. It also reminds me why I’m an artist because I forget. Juggling single parenthood and my creative practice is something which is a constant battle and as my boys (always) come first I sometimes don’t have lots of energy, time and motivation to deal with my artwork, and after a while of not doing or making, this can becomes ‘normal’. And weeks can pass. What usually happens then is that I’ll see some work, preferably in a gallery but it can be on the internet or in a book, and I’ll have an aesthetic connection, a non verbal dialogue that lights me up again and I need to respond to it. This usually means that there’s a flurry of activity and I make some work, until the energy runs down and life takes over again. It’s kind of cyclic. What I’m trying to do this time is to keep the connection active, to keep stimulated and to keep producing work.
It’s funny though as I’m writing this, I’m remembering that I’d denounced the work created on the recent residency as I didn’t feel it was right and I think that it’s because I had to respond to the archives and not to any artwork. As I said in the blog the value in this is that I’m beginning to understand what kind of artist I want to be and I think that it’s really important to think about that. What’s the point of doing something (even if is paid) if that’s not the right thing for you, or you don’t produce work that’s valuable to yourself? Yeah I know, a very noble stance when they’re repossessing your home but really? Just have a think what kind of artist do you want to be? I’ll never be a socially engaged artist because I like working on my own, and I don’t see myself working with other artists because of that same reason (but never say never!). On my MA I really personally questioned the value of art and what the process of making meant for me, and I stopped making art for 8 months after because I didn’t know. When I started up again, after feeling wrong for months, I felt like I’d found a long lost friend and it was wonderful. I’ve spent the last few months trying to refine and balance the relationship so it’ll continue.
It’s always similar sort of art that wakens me up which I find really interesting; simple and honest with a sense of integrity and a kind of essence that comes from the artist which I think must be imbued in the artwork. And it is a very personal and powerful thing. This relationship, for me, is the true value of art.
