Project Me

Saturday morning and I am at the studio … I haven’t been here enough recently so am taking the opportunity to be here today. I need to be here … ’need’ at an emotional level … this is both where I feel the most me and where I work out (literally) who I am. I feel out of sorts when I am away from the the studio for too long … I lose my sense of self … or at the very least that sense lessens and becomes misty … unclear.

The studio is not an entirely easy place to be. It makes demands on me. It requires me to confront things about myself … things that seem to be becoming more urgent … it requires me to be who I am … or rather to work out who I am. Perhaps that’s it – the studio is a place for working out. Working out in an artistic sense, just as the gym is a place for working out in a physical sense. Studio as a place for exercises and training … for becoming.

This time last week I was on my way in to Stockholm to collect my tie-drapes – which were packed away by the technicians at Liljevalchs after the Spring Exhibition closed, they are in their boxes behind me in the studio. I also picked up A’s unsold painting and delivered it to her gallery (her other two works in the show sold) – I am going to ask her how she came to be working with the gallery. I had a brief and nice chat with the gallery owner/director. He admitted to not having made it to the exhibition. I guess that he wasn’t the only gallerist who didn’t go. He asked if I had seen the show, I am pleased that I, without thinking, answered that I was in it which lead him to ask who I am. Luckily I had picked up an extra copy of the catalogue so I was able to show him my entry in it – which coincidentally is on the same page as A’s (she is Mas… , I am May…). It wasn’t much but it was something … it as me letting someone in the commercial art world know that I exist.

After that I made my way to an opening at another gallery. I had been told about the opening by an artist friend who I met at Supermarket. She is represented by the gallery and I had forgotten that she mentioned this to me some time ago. I recently saw a selection of her work on the gallery’s website when I was looking up information about an artist whose work is in Region Uppsala’s collection. It turns out that the gallery represents two artists whose work has (relatively) recently been bought by the region. Unfortunately my artist friend was invigilating at an artist-run gallery on the other side of town last Saturday so we were unable to meet. My friend has been campaigning for the gallery to get in touch with me … but they have not done so … turning up at their opening was a convenient way to meet them. The long conversation with both my friend’s friend who is the gallery director’s mother and the gallery director herself ended the way all other conversations with commercial galleries have ended – we like you, we like your work, but we can’t sell it so we can’t work with you.  They made polite noises about possible future performance / installation opportunities though these were very vague. I understand their (economic) need to work with artists whose works they can sell, however I also think that a good gallerist is someone who sells work that they believe in rather than simply, and lazily, taking on artists whose work is easy to sell . If I am going to work with, have a relationship with, a commercial gallery it has got to be a gallery who are passionate about what I do and who are passionate about promoting artists that they believe in … not just those where they see an easy sale. Even if they were interested in me I am not sure that I am so interested in them! I didn’t get the impression that they know how to generate excitement and buzz around their artists. I didn’t get the impression that they want to make a big splash in the art scene. I didn’t get the impression that they could convince anyone that their artists are among the most interesting, relevant, and necessary, artists working in Sweden today. What I did get was a much clearer idea about the kind of gallerist that I would like to work with – someone charismatic, passionate, and enthusiastic, someone daring, brave, and adventurous, someone just a little bit crazy!

Supermarket day 0

It was lovely to catch-up with even more friends and colleagues yesterday as the fair really kicked off with the Forum (professional networking event) which was immediately followed by the vip and the preview evening. Over the years I have come to accept the slightly shambolic nature of Supermarket openings … the very unscripted and unrehearsed opening remarks of the directors, the confusion over the Forum programme, the odd period where it’s unclear if people are able to get a drink or not. It always ends well with the buzz of excited conversations, happy reunions, and new encounters.

During the day I had borrowed some additional chairs from a local charity shop and I am really pleased to have created a very different feeling Meeting Room – it will be interesting to see if people show any preference.

As always I am nervous about the Meetings programme and really hope that hosts get something out of it … it’s the hosts that I am most concerned about – they give a lot and I want them to get something back. So far the lowest registrations are for Pam and my meetings. I am not bothered if my meeting is cancelled but I would really bad if Pam’s has very few participants – I know that she has put a lot of thought and preparation in to it. There is still time to drum up interest … so that is what Johanna (the Meetings volunteer) and I will be doing.

I had an email reminding me to reply to a question as to whether I was interested in taking part in the new iteration of the Verdandi student association spring show – this is the event where, in 1907, Eugène Jansson showed his ’naked athletes’ for the first time. It feels like it is an opportunity that I simple can not miss. I have suggested that I can make a short presentation about my Eugène in Uppsala project and /or exhibit something. Meeting the contemporary Verdandi group and being a part of their spring show has to be a part of my project!

Supermarket days -2 and -1

As soon as I arrive at this apartment time begins to collapse and it is as if Supermarket 2023 was yesterday. Arriving at the venue on Monday morning, greeting my colleagues, seeing the logo, feeling the fair starting to take shape only serves to amplify the sense of familiarity … we talk about the Supermarket family … and after fourteen years of involvement I am definitely a part of the family.

Supermarket has become the most familiar thing that I do … and I guess in the way of families it is always the same and always different … it is a living and evolving thing … and I love it – I love being a part of it.

My fourth year as Meetings coordinator and I am finding my stride, there’s still an underlying sense of being a fraud … and that will probably always be there … I just pay it less attention and get on things. So the rooms are almost set-up, one with the usual anonymous ’event hire’ plastic table and chairs, and one – new for 2024! – with sofa and chairs borrowed from a local charity shop. This cosy room is very much inspired by my trip to the Juxtapose fair in Aarhus. Yesterday afternoon I saw that the room was occupied but a group of exhibitors. I wondered what they were talking about however I didn’t want to intrude … I was happy that they found the space inviting and conducive to discussion.

It is lovely spending time with John – if ease of conversation after a period of absence is a measure of friendship then we are indeed very good friends. I could arrive at the fair at least a day later than I do – I don’t have so much that requires me to be on-site for two full days before the first exhibitor event – though if I were to do this I would miss out on all that ’soft’ stuff that gives me so much … time with John as he/we sets up the exhibitors lounge, those warm hugs and exchanges with exhibitors who I have gotten to know over the years, being there to help with things when someone else needs a pair of hands – yesterday working with Alice to install work in a booth were the exhibitors themselves were unable to come even though the ’exhibits’ had already been sent (from Australia).

I had a good chat with Antonie – who like me always has so much going on. I had been hoping that she would be at the fair in one capacity or another I had recently seen that she is working with a young commercial gallery and I wanted to know more. Within minutes she was saying that we should definitely meet with the gallery owner/director and that she had already mentioned me on several occasions. I saw that Antonie is with the gallery when I was looking for information about artworks that a colleague at Region Uppsala had bought – two artists who the region has recently bought something from are with the gallery … I am of course very intrigued and excited by the idea of meeting the gallery owner … knowing that Antonie is with them is a great stamp of approval, knowing that my colleagues buy from them only adds to my interest.

Last night I did something playful, adventurous, brave(?), fun … spurred on by the excitement of the fair I bought tickets for a trip to New York in late August. I am going to go see this year’s Met Fashion Exhibit – Sleep Beauties which will be a once in a life time opportunity to see pieces from their fantastic archive. I still can’t quite believe that I did it … but I did! Something in me has shifted and I have found a ’lust for life’ … a desire ’to let the crazy out’ …

On leaving Liljevalchs (Spring Exhibition, closing day) yesterday afternoon it occurred to me how fortunate I am not to have to depend on selling my work for income. It means that I can continue to produce what I want and need to produce without having to think about it’s marketability or potential for sale. I noted that I was in quite good company – regarding not selling at the Spring Exhibition – I can’t comment on the other artists’ financial situation.

My fantasy is that in the coming days and weeks I will hear from buyers who want to purchase works directly from me … either wanting me to receive the whole cost (rather than the price minus the gallery’s commission), or hoping for a lower price (the gallery’s commission rate is public knowledge as it is a city council venue). I know that fantasies rarely become realities but I am allowing myself to dream.

I have had a great deal of very positive feedback on the work and that is really good. I have some good photographs and that is important. I feel as though I have reached a milestone in becoming a part of the Swedish art-scene. I had a really good spot … a whole wall … in what is usually the last room that people visit – I was given the honour of making the last(ing) impression – and that is something to cherish.

I am someone who needs to be active … some friends worry that I never seem to relax, and to be honest I find it hard both do that and to understand the concept of ’doing nothing’. There is always something to do and/or something to be done. I need to be active both physically and mentally. Ten days since stepping down as chair of the Uppsala Artists’ Club I am aware that my mind is now full of thoughts that simply couldn’t find space while my brain was so exercised by all that was going on with and in the club.

Almost immediately the AGM ended I found myself revisiting and developing ideas about Uppsala Open Studios, and Uppsala Art Weekend – two events that I want to see here. Save for a few notes on my chalkboard all the ideas are in my head. A while back, perhaps in anticipation of no longer being chair, I registered that I want to reactivate Glitter Ball showroom & projects. Yesterday after looking at the website of an artists’ project in Sheffield – I had listened to an online talk by the artists currently exhibiting there – ideas about what Glitter Ball could become became clearer … and it’s very exciting.

It’s as if my mind has a certain capacity … needs a certain capacity … so when my mind is no longer exercised by one thing it finds another. It’s exciting that in removing demanding activities connected with the ’greater good of the club’, I find myself focussing on demanding activities connected with the greater good of myself!

Some notes:

Uppsala Open Studios: a weekend (Friday afternoon/evening through to Sunday afternoon) where as many as possible studios in Uppsala are open. The weekend is a stand-alone – that is it is not part of another event or programme. Each studio decides its level of participation and engagement. The Hospital Studio Association will be the lead studio. Funding for a coordinator (me) to be sought from the city council. Aim – to expose our studio practices to curators, gallerists, collectors, and administrators as well as to a general public. Spring May/June

Uppsala Art Weekend: a weekend (Friday afternoon/evening through to Sunday afternoon) featuring exhibitions and events at the galleries, museums, arts venues here in Uppsala. The weekend is a stand-alone event. Each venue decides its level of engagement for example an exhibition opening, an artist’s presentation, guided tours, a workshop, late night opening, anything else that adds value to the institutions existing programme. Funding for a coordinator is needed. Aim – to generate and stimulate interest in visual arts venues and programmes in Uppsala. Marketed and promoted to curators, collectors, agents, administrators, commissioners, gallerists. Autumn October/November

Glitter Ball showroom & projects: an arts projects focusing on early- and mid-career LGBTQI+ and marginalised artists. Develop a symbiotic model of activity/practice. Pop-up events, interventions, programme events including talks, discussions, workshops. Presence at independent art fairs (Juxtapose, Supermarket etc). Uppsala based, active in Uppsala, Stockholm, London and UK … Curatorial and programme projects in other spaces and countries. Brand some my own projects as Glitter Ball projects.  Questions: formal/registered association? venue/nomadic/untethered? membership?