‘The body is gendered…The body can thus be seen not as a blank, passive page, a neutral ground of meaning, but as an active, productive ‘whiteness’…The woman artist thus transgresses both what it is to be an artist and what it is to be a woman…The work is thus always a representation of the art’s gender, an embodiment of her embodiment of gender, a gendered self-representation, no matter what its medium or overt content…[Freud] suggests that women themselves should not concern themselves with the question as they themselves are the problem…’
The Engagement with Psychoanalysis, Border crossings by Hilary Robinson
I’ve been looking at William Pope.L’s Eating the Wall Street Journal today. For this work which he performed on several occasions Pope.L peruses, reads from, eats and then spits out sections of this newspaper which reports on economic and business news.
Pope.L’s work is mainly a commentary on race issues and the complications of being a black man working in a white man industry. He uses his body in his work so his blackness is obvious to the consumer of his work. This is also something he is interested in how we consume art as a product that can be bought. Some of his actions are humiliating, crawling through the street, wearing nothing but a jockstrap smearing his body in food products and viewers or consumers are forced to witness this aware of how their consumption exploits.
I am interesting in eating. What it is to eat. In his paper to accompany Eating the Wall Street Journal he notes ‘ Hunger isn’t hunger anymore. It’s constructed. ‘. I think he is referring to the way that most of us do not every experience real hunger, food is accessible, it’s a choice, a game. Shops are stocked high with products; we simply buy what we need, no, what we want. We don’t need the kind of food that is in shops-we want it.
And what about eating or say consuming paper. We don’t need to have all this knowledge. We don’t need to understand- we want to. It gives us power, control, superiority, access to choices, access to an elite class. And so if you have come from a culture where reading and consuming paper is a luxury where does that leave you? You are part of this new educated culture but you are still an outsider constantly doubting you’re newly found knowledge. Having to justify what you are doing, always aware that people can see you, who you really are.
And for me my blackness is my feminity, my Irishness. These are the things that could exclude me from the world of white male ‘high art’. I thought all of this was irrelevant until I was reminded of how our world still revolves around the male ego in the Hollywood film Taken. Human trafficking especially the trafficking of women is still happening today and the only reason it exists is because there are men out there who will pay for women. Although we pretend that we’re past all that and that men respect women, why would this kind of stuff still go on if this were true?
So now it has come down to the style of the CV you submit.
Since moving to Poole I’ve struggled to create any kind of income. Although I’ve met with a local arts organisation and the council I haven’t been able to gain any paid work as an artist. They are happy for me to volunteer and do unpaid work, but there are very few paid opportunities. ‘The Council has no designated budget for new public art projects’ from the Arts Strategy for Poole (there is no date on this document, but the Joint Arts Plan for Bournemouth and Poole is for 2004-2007).
In the meantime bills have to be paid and I need to eat so I have been applying for any and every part time job in the area. In cafe’s, shops, offices, factories everywhere. I am continiously rejected but this mornings reason took the biscuit. The empoyer didn’t like the style of my CV. Not the content, my experience or anything else but just the way I had used a table to display my work experience. And just to add insult to injury the job was a part-time minimum wage, short term contract answering phone calls.
Where do I go from here? Today I’ve spoken to two artists in Yorkshire and one in Nottingham who are also struggling to find work. Maybe I should just focus on the MA do some volunteering and see what happens. I doubt that I’ll starve. Life is tough but not in danger.
This morning I had a chat with Richard Taylor about my blog, why I have committed to writing everyday and what I hope to achieve. The result of the interview will be that I will be publicizing what I am writing which I’m a little nervous about in the same way as someone visiting my studio.
On the one hand I have nothing to hide, but at the same time it’s all a work in progress. When I began writing I wasn’t really aware that anyone would read my blog and so I wrote accordingly. Now that I have an audience I feel as though I should step things up a bit, be a bit more professional. Say something worthwhile.
Richard asked me if I thought I need to ‘break the cycle’ in order to write more critically, which I thought was a good question. Up to now I have been writing on cue at 10pm every evening and up until now that was enough. The way I think about the blog now has changed. It’s seems ridiculous but I think I’ve only just realised that this is a public space and it’s likely that people will come across what I have written.
The question is now, will this change how I write? Is this going to be the break in the cycle? Is this my opportunity to break free from safe rambling journal to writing with a purpose, having and opinion and sharing that with the art community? Is it a change for the better or am I setting myself up for disappointment?
It feels like a challenge, a path that has opened up that could help me to improve and develop as a professional artist. Or I could continue on my merry way not really getting any better but being comforted by the fact I’m doing something rather than just thinking about it. I have been doing just something everyday and maybe now is the time to take the next step and embrace the pressure of a critical reader.
Working with paint is so frustrating. Today my little sideline project drove me to comfort eating.
I rarely work with paint but on this occasion I must and I’m also forced to print; another process that goes against my happiness. Also although I’m making images the project is not ‘art’ which also frustrates me. But once it’s out of the way I can move on to more fulfilling work.
Also I have a cold so that hasn’t helped.
