A Portrait of an Artist as a Very Late Starter

Is there such a thing as artist’s block, like the thing you hear that writers suffer from, only for artists? Even when I was at college, I would have months when I just couldn’t seem to make any work, to the extent that I would receive calls from the head of our course, telling me that if I didn’t go in, I’d be turfed out! But that’s another story. . . .

I made a start on my printmaking intentions and have now been at home again, partly due to cold and wet weather, which makes my studio pretty unbearable and partly because we are trying to return our house to some form of normality after the major building works that more or less finished just before Christmas. (The new eco bamboo floor is being laid this week with all that entails, so I am on duty at home again). I have bought a thin piece of mdf to use as a print bed with my old mangle.

I am making notes and diagrams occasionally, but I don’t think that really counts.

At the end of January I went down to London to see some exhibitions. Since then, I have been struggling to verbalise what I actually thought of Painting Now at Tate Britain. I have started to write about it a couple of times and given up. I hated the show, and when I was trying to explain why, I realised that I was struggling possibly because I did not really understand it and what the painters in the show were aiming to express. And also, my ignorance about some of the painting that is happening at the moment was made abundently clear. I read most of the reviews on the show this morning. I still hated the show.

The uneasy thought has arisen within me that trying to write about exhibitions and work by other artists is revealing the yawning chasm that is my lack of knowledge about what is happening with contemporary painting at the moment, and, though I try so hard not to have any, my prejudice against a lot of it. Regarding Painting Now though, I do think there’s a bit of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” syndrome going on. I really do not see the point of painters making paintings that are denying the very qualities of paint itself, its materiality (apart from Ling). I waffled on about this in my other blog: www.suegough.blogspot.com so I won’t drone on again. I will say though that I think paint deserves better!

I am still working on preparations for w0budong: I decided late last night to make some handmade business cards especialy for the exhibition, so now I will be flat out with my mini production line! Jayne Lloyd is doing stirling work organising us all and I really appreciate it. So looking forward to meeting all the other artists and seeing my painting in a new space. w0budong.wordpress.com

I had a lovely chat about art and learning with an artist new to our area the other afternoon. We sat in Rosi Robinson’s studio on the first floor of her house amongst piles of books and two hours had gone before we knew it! Rosi is studying for an MA with The Open College for the Arts and it sounds like a really rigorous course. I am intrigued. . .

Something I find about writing a blog, wherever it is; it really helps to clarify my thoughts. I have been a bit “frozen” of late, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, partly because of all the other things going on really, but taking the time to sit and think and then write my blogs has helped me to calm down and gather my resolve. I realise that I am alright, and if I just keep making things however small, taking small steps in the right direction, I will be OK. Feeling more positive about what I am doing as a result of writing, I am looking forward to being able to get back in the studio. (Lists help too!)

Better go; I have lots of card to cut up and draw on!

By the time I had sorted out some domestic chores, I didn’t get to the studio until twelve o’clock today. Had the day off yesterday with slight inner ear dizzy thing going on; it is quite an interesting sensation to move suddenly and find that the world keeps on going instead of stopping when I do. Except when I nearly fall over. . .

I have prepared some collagraph blocks for printing, there are some artists book structures started and some artwork ready to go off to be made into silk screen frames. I have one or two formats in mind for my books and will probably make some prototypes before going into production of about 5 editions for each version although I am not too bothered by editioning; it is more important to me to create interesting work.

There are some phrases and words floating in my head along with the dizziness, that I am thinking of including along with the imagery and textures of the printmaking. I want to bring in some asemic text alongside the “real” words and continue the references to textile construction. I find it fascinating that a straight length of yarn, a “line” as Tim Ingold would describe it, can, with a few twists, become a textile, a cloth.

I used a few minutes to play with my Chinese brushes and ink, to explore patterns, constructions, lines. A few sheets of paper have been washed with acrylic paint and these will be used as the base for the first run of print experiments.

There are lots of useful references from the Jameel Prize exhibition at the V&A lurking in the background; things that made connections to my working practice as well as approaches that run parallel to my own ideas and imagery. I was also excited to realise today that there is an exhibition at Turner Contemporary, Margate of Frankenthaler and Turner paintings. Oh, the colour! I’ve loved both these painters for ages and will organise a trip down South to see this important show. I have been planning some more big paintings based on some of my small studies, and just thinking about Frankenthaler’s work makes me want to get on with it again!

FIVE hours in the studio today!

Admittedly one of those was spent re-stacking my wood pile and all the boards that got wet recently. The driving rain got in under the door and soaked into my precious pile of boards that I scavenged from the college I taught at before I moved up to Yorkshire. However, my landlord has sorted the problem out and I can now shut the door without breaking my arm. I stacked everything up on bricks/blocks of wood and used old RAW Directories as spacers to allow the air to get between so everything has a better chance of drying out.

The rest of my day was spent working on the collagraph blocks I started last week. Simple techniques of glueing and sticking allowed me to “feel” my way back into working in the studio. I am planning to make some artists’ books as well as prints; whether I edition them or just make one offs, I have yet to decide. In between cutting out the grey board bases (Old sketch book backs) and referring to one of my favourite books on creative bookbinding, I scribbled down ideas in a note book. As ideas start to flow, I need to jot them down in both short hand visual form and brief explanations otherwise I tend to forget some. That way, once I start to make some up into actual pieces, I will be more likely to select the best outcomes. . . That’s the theory anyway.

I finally got round to writing about the RAW trip to MIMA to meet William Tillyer, who showed us round his retrospective: www.suegough.blogspot.co.uk

I have yet to finalise transportation of my big painting to Manchester so that is a priority for this week.

Oh! How I wish being an artist just meant working in my studio every day!

On making transportation arrangements, musing about my next work and impatience about a ballot box.

I’m waiting for a response from an art courier about transporting my painting over to Manchester in March. I will feel twitchy until I know I have it all organised. It’s bad enough thinking about driving into central Manchester with other sundry bits of equipment, without the worry of whether the painting will arrive.

I’m down to London for a few days over this weekend to see some shows; Klee and Hannah Hock are up there and a visit to the V&A to see some calligraphy among other things. Once back I’m in the studio to make a right proper start on my next investigations into my theme. I know what I am going to do in terms of process; manipulate and layer collagraph, mono, screen and lino print making techniques. How my imagery, surfaces and gestures combine and produce pieces of work is the unknown. But I like it like that; if a piece doesn’t speak well enough about my concerns when I have finished it, I add more layers until it either works or gets consigned to the collage material pile. I am fascinated by the layering of marks and gesture to create a surface; sometimes it can be easy to “read” and at other times the “meaning” is just outside my or the viewer’s grasp. I enjoy the enigmatic element in my work, and dislike anything that is too obvious both in terms of imagery and meaning.

Still no word from our Creative Economies Officer at the council about when we can get our hands on the de-commissioned ballot boxes. The council are replacing the metal ones with some made of lighter materials and our officer hit on the idea of offering the old ones to artists in the region to make a piece of work with. They are all going to be exhibited some time in the summer in the only good gallery space in the area, namely Ryedale Folk Museum.

I am itching to get hold of mine: I have an idea of what I want to do, but I need to have the ballot box so I can work with its dimensions. Meanwhile, I have a small series of notes and drawings in a tiny sketch book so I don’t forget any of my thoughts.

I spent a long weekend away on the borders of Somerset and Wiltshire. It was the opening of the Frome part of the touring Sketch show and I went; partly because I was intrigued to see how the exhibition would be displayed in another venue and also because it was a good excuse to meet up with my youngest sister and have a good catch up.

The exhibition is at the Black Swan Arts Centre in Frome, until Feb. 8th. and looks good. The PV was well attended too; Meryll was surprised and pleased to see me, knowing I live in North Yorkshire, which made me smile. One of the drawbacks of living in the sticks is that everywhere takes a journey to get to and I decided a while ago that, if I intend to participate more in the art world as a re-emerging artist, being prepared to drive to places is a pre-requisite. It also means I am careful about which opportunities I select to apply to. No bad thing, especially since I have determined not to apply to that many this year and to concentrate on making more work.

I took the opportunity to read the individual pages prepared by each artist and collated together into a folder by Merryl. The information was not included in the catalogue and I didn’t have time to look at it in Marlborough last year when the show opened. They proved very interesting; the artists in the show express thoughts on their approach to using sketchbooks in a variety of ways, the idea of a sketchbook being as varied as the work that was enclosed within them. I would have very much liked to have had a copy of this information as one of the participating artists.

After the PV on Friday: a couple of fun days trawling the vintage shops in Frome and around streets in Shaftsbury, plus lots of chatting and giggling.

It’s back to work now with meetings for Ryedale ArtWorks, a trip to MIMA to meet William Tillyer, who is going to show us round his show and of course, my own work in the studio, if I can brave the cold.

Apart from the w0budong exhibition in Manchester in March I have nothing in my diary until June’s open studios, so I figure that there should be plenty of time for developing some new works. It is time for me to take stock to see if I need to order any materials; there is nothing so frustrating as wanting to crack on with some work only to be held up because you’ve run out of something you need. I know this from bitter experience, although sometimes it can lead to interesting alternatives if you improvise with stuff that you have in the studio rather than wait for an order to materialise. . . .