Well, I’m writing this on the train back up north after a buzzing weekend in London. It’s only the second time I’ve been back since I moved away in September. Last time I couldn’t wait to be back on that train, and was cursing the crowded, manic city. But this time I came with an open mind, a huge list of places to go, people to see and galleries to visit, a compression of culture that I felt I lacked at times in York. So its been a crazy couple of days, I managed to get to the V&A (Decode was such a disappointment), the Serpentine, the NHM and its new Darwin wing, caught up with the RCA people, discovered the brilliant “Museum of Everything’ – well worth a visit, the Estorick Collections ‘action in image’, wandered the ICA, Andy Holden at Tate Britain AND parts of Tate Modern, Camden Arts Centre and I even climbed all 311 steps of Monument for a lovely view of the city. And that’s just the start.
I was beginning to feel as though I was sinking into a dreadfully depressing career crisis, doubting myself, my future etc. But talking it through today with an old friend (just one of the many who also seem to be entering their own career crises) made me realise a few things. Perseverance without desperation is the key, and its certainly too early to give up or sell out. I enjoy making more than anything in the world – the ideas are there, it’s just up to me to make them materialise. I have to sort out my priorities, but also bear in mind that there’s no huge rush. I have to stop comparing myself to my peers and take things as they come. I’m so lucky where I am at the moment, the enjoyment I get from being here, and I should savour the moment. I have 2 exhibitions coming up and so I am still officially an artist. I am. The easy bit is the ideas, the tricky bit is the making it happen. But I can do it. And I don’t, I’m sure I will still have enjoyed the process.
Famous artists, established and ‘successful’, know that whatever they make will be exhibited. It’s the ones who work away at home, producing pieces, or just stuff, who probably get the most enjoyment from it.
No more work with precious metals for me right now though. Credit crunch creation only for a while.
