Alexander Luke Osborne – Prestige

I have been a fan of Batman since I can remember. From an early age, if it had something to do with the Dark Knight, I was fascinated by it. Only till now when I look at at through my ‘Stroke‘ eyes, I can see some of the things that relate to my Stroke.

Here is a clip from the Batman (1989), that relates from that moment I actually had my Stroke in early December 2013. It shows The Joker spraying acid onto the bell, and him turning away while the acid eats away at the metal. Then,  all of a sudden the bell bell drops, and falls very slowly:

The acid, represents the trumour that my brain when’t through, and me urinating myself uncontrollably. The bell falling, is when I fell to the the floor. I did not know what was happening to me!

On the 4th of December I had my Stroke. As it was happening, I did not know what was happening to me. It felt like my body was drunk, was my mind was sober. It was about a week later that I realised what has happened to me. I have had a massive Stroke.

I wanted to recreate what was happening to my brain cells, and to me.

I got the wood for the project, two years ago from when I was working in the Snap Exhibition (2012), which I was going to use to make my Rack (The Turn of the Screw), but later I found out, that I did not have enough timer to make it.

Going forward to December 2014, I picked up a box full of car headlight bulbs for £10. I realised, this could be my next project. By drilling into the wood, I could fit the bulbs into the timber.

I cut a piece of spare  chipboard to about 800mm, and screwed the timber to it. I then cut of all the bit all wood that was hanging over the edge. Then it was a chase of drilling the holes, to fit the bulbs. I used silicone sealant, to firmly glue them into place.

You will notice some of the bulbs are burnt out: dead brain cells. But some brain cell are still active. If I had the money to do so, I would make the active brain cell light up. I am however, going to wrap wires around the active lights, missing the burned out ones.

This is to show how my brain was recovering from the Stroke: how when one brain cell is knocked out, another one is there to take its place.

March 2015.

My implantable loop recorder was inserted under local anaesthetic, in March 2015. It only hurt when the needle went into my chest to give the local anaesthetic injection. It lasted about half an hour, and was disappointed not to experience that relaxed, sedated feeling.

For three years the implant will be inside my chest, regulating my heart-beat. This will record any irregularities, if they are present. I am aware of it inside my chest, but it doesn’t hurt.

When I finish with my Fine Art course, I plan to find out what has caused my Stroke by monitoring my heart rate constantly. I will do this by using medical equipment from the Cardiology department at Ipswich Hospital. In three years time, if there is no findings from my loop recorder, then I don’t know what the cause could be. I think it could be quite beautiful if I don’t find out.

Mystery and my art being like a magic trick, have always been strong themes in my work. The cause being unknown would give the illusion that I have switched sides. Once I was the magician performing all types of illusions, now it feels that I have become part of the audience.

The above picture shows a shop display stand I found at car boot sale for £2. I bought it because I thought it looked similar to a stomach shape. This was the original structure of my stomach, and it represents the reconstructive work the surgeons tried to do by rebuilding my stomach. Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful and my stomach was removed.

I reflected on the structure for around a month after buying it. Every person has a stomach which starts off as normal, which the display unit represents. Due to disease, my stomach structure could not remain as ‘normal’. I suddenly got an idea to reflect on my hospital experiences in connection with the stomach surgery.

I was in so much pain in hospital and did not want to live anymore. Horrible time. Barbed wire and black hooks represent the terrible pain which was like someone ripping my stomach apart. The hooks represent the ripping sensation of pain when I was moved about. No matter how much morphine I had, it was unbearable and I just wanted it to end.

The barbed wire and fixing bands I bought from Jewson’s and built this around the original structure. The rake was also from a car boot sale. I have never been so excited to see a rake, as it was just what I was searching for!!!

The finished sculpture represents the attempts of the surgeons at rebuilding my stomach, but failed. The finished result also conveys my physical pain to the audience. It is a representation of my journey through surgery and pain.

I bought these two Mannequins from eBay. There is a sort uncanny-ness, between them…

The Uncanny in Freud;

Turning to psychoanalysis in the context of doll images is not motivated just by the fact that Freud used the example of the doll as central case to illustrate the idea of the uncanny [..] but from the fact that psychoanalysis opens up the possibility of thinking about dolls as constituting an image in which pleasure and displeasure, living beauty and uncanny in-animation, are conflated.

This very idea that the doll represents the impossible encounter between innocent beauty and uncanny effects (the uncanny being, according to Freud, one type of anxiety that the encounter with art can elicit) may provide a preliminary explanation to my interest in the doll image and account for the choice of such images in order to consider the possibility of an aesthetics that exceeds the distinction between beauty and its opposites, between the pleasing and the anxiety-provoking object.

The Doll, Look the Doll in the Eyes: The Uncanny in Contemporary Art.

by Ruth Ronen                                                                                                         January 1, 2004

With one of the Mannequins, I decided to represent my Stroke…

With the other, I when’t right back to the beginning…

I haven’t got many veins, due to the cancer treatment when I was age two years of age…

When I was in Hospital they could not get access to any veins. The only option, was to get the blood out of my neck. From today, it takes three attempts, for them to access my veins…

Here is one of the final scenes from Resident Evil…

Here is a scene from Saw 2…

Here is a clip from Hellraiser IV: Bloodline

I wanted to represent this image of me trying to get blood out of anywhere I can. I know now, how it feels to be a Crack head!!!

Referenced Franko B – I Miss You…

Franko had canulars put into his arms, letting all the blood drip out onto the clean floor. He almost always paints himself completely white each time he does his performances, to hide his scars. His tattoo’s.