Saturday 14th
Arrive in the morning and am made very welcome. The school is such an ‘enlightened' contrast to my own experiences at junior school its almost emotionally overwhelming. Leave the word ‘dream' hidden in one of the rooms. I am nervous and ‘reserved', but speak and it goes very well, able to weave and contrast my experience with theirs, this resonated especially with the parents. Speak about ‘AP' and have interest from parents from London who wish to take part in the ‘conversations on the trains' when they start. Am asked after, if I could ‘go' back and change what happened to me ‘would I? I explain, calmly, that I wouldn't.
Without having experienced ‘my journey', I would have little ‘depth' to draw upon, I wouldn't be ‘creating the ‘issue based work', the ‘layers' within the work, nor would I be in the position I am with ‘alternative P'. I have no idea what life would be like without constant ‘emotional', ‘mental' and ‘physical' pain I feel now? I don't want to because this is ‘me'. I first had to learn to embrace and accept that this is my reality and evolve, my past informs but it doesn't ‘dictate' my practice any more. I can see that it wont benefit me to dwell on ‘what if' as I just don't know. It's irrelevant, yet an interesting question, one we all ask at some point.
Friday 13th
Head to Salisbury and visit the main gallery. Had some work on display there recently (Intrusion struckture 11 and 'dyslexic library, now on show in ICI in London) but was unable to attend the Private view or exhibition so was curious about the space. Also wanted to talk about setting up some sort of ‘showing' or collaboration/ workshops for ‘alternative platform' later in the life of the project. Afterwards, I check out bookshops for an old orange covered copy of ‘Midwich cuckoos' but again am unsuccessful. So head over to and sit in the cathedral for a while.
Am due to give a ‘speech' at a school for ‘children who are dyslexic or have aspergers' (or a mix like me) the next day so spend the evening talking with staff at their ‘summer do'. I have to leave early, to think about what I am to say next day, as I still find ‘public speaking' quite daunting and need to be well prepared.
Thursday 12th
Celebration, finally finish 2 of the applications I am working on, only another 7 to go before the August and September's deadlines. Send one as a draft to one of the rail companies for checking before I submit finally. Nobody ever told me (or warned Me) that being an ‘artist' involved so much writing. I constantly get told that we dyslexics are ‘naturally drawn to the arts and art colleges because we don't have to write much there, just draw'. Don't you believe it, have they never been? It may have something more to do with the way we ‘learn' and are ‘wired-up' for picture rather than ‘word'.
Meet another new artist in the evening at a ‘networking' event. I have never met most of them before but my ‘dadar' flags up one of them and we start to generally chat. I tell them a bit about my self and work, and after seeing its safe they ‘reveal' and am soon pointing them in the direction of Dada South for info and support.
Wednesday 11th
Too mentally exhausted to write much today, so spend part of day in the garden ‘artistically' weeding and arraigning plants and stones. My excuse is I am preparing for an ‘allotment' piece I have been asked to do later in the year…
Tuesday 10th
Catch train at 9 am and thank goodness its quiet. Spend the whole journey finishing the ‘rail' application. Am so taken with the writing I fail to notice Worthing's ‘17' stations! (Well It can seem like it) and have to save and shut the computer down hurriedly as we approach Brighton.
Spend some time ‘looking' at the station trying to not look like I am ‘checking it out' even though I am. Very aware of the current climate in the country.
Have encouraging and productive meetings at ACE, deliver the ‘sharks teeth' as promised and manage to subversively ‘leave' a row of books in a corridor and the word ‘reflection' (Some 2nd year architecture students diaries of a ‘Disability arts' project we did for ‘squaring the Circle' a few months before) .
Over lunch I have a long conversation with the Disability Arts Officer, I first rang in July 05. She ‘enabled' me to change my practice direction and encouraged me to ‘work with my impairments' and to contact others such as Dada South. We talk about the current renaissance and mainstreaming of ‘quality' Disability Arts in the South East. Encouraged I explain about ‘dadar', pronounced day-dar, a word I coined the previous day. It's the instant bond you ‘feel' upon meeting a fellow ‘Hidden disabled' artist/ person even if they do not immediately ‘explain'. I guess it stems from shared experience, universality and empathy, ‘synesthesic gift' or maybe more, you just seem to ‘know' and feel hence feel ‘safe' to disclose.
Spend the next few hours in the ‘lanes' attempting to find books from my childhood to ‘treat'. Able to find ‘far from the madding crowd' but unable to get ‘Midwich cuckoos' the one I really wanted. Intrigued to also find a recent copy of, ‘The curious tale of the dog in the nigh time' A must read for partners or prospective partners of ‘artists with aspergers' Thus engaged I end up having to run for a train.
Spend the evening with ‘Aspex' at their staff barbeque on the beach in Old Portsmouth. All quiet until 9 when ‘someone' rudely interrupts by deciding to fall, jump or be pushed off the nearby ‘Round tower'. We notice a person struggling to get to shore and collapsing in the surf at the towers base and some head over. They haul him from the sea and call the emergency services, as he is obviously hurt. We then get 2 Fire engines, 2 inshore rescue craft, police, defence launches from the harbour and finally an ambulance, 43 people in all. After they all go we then get the press, who interrupt the ongoing ‘stone skimming' contest. Take a few stones home with me for inclusion in a piece I am currently working on.
