Alternative platform: Jon Adams

Thursday 12th

Celebration, finally finish 2 of the applications I am working on, only another 7 to go before the August and September's deadlines. Send one as a draft to one of the rail companies for checking before I submit finally. Nobody ever told me (or warned Me) that being an ‘artist' involved so much writing. I constantly get told that we dyslexics are ‘naturally drawn to the arts and art colleges because we don't have to write much there, just draw'. Don't you believe it, have they never been? It may have something more to do with the way we ‘learn' and are ‘wired-up' for picture rather than ‘word'.

Meet another new artist in the evening at a ‘networking' event. I have never met most of them before but my ‘dadar' flags up one of them and we start to generally chat. I tell them a bit about my self and work, and after seeing its safe they ‘reveal' and am soon pointing them in the direction of Dada South for info and support.

Wednesday 11^th

Too mentally exhausted to write much today, so spend part of day in the garden ‘artistically' weeding and arraigning plants and stones. My excuse is I am preparing for an ‘allotment' piece I have been asked to do later in the year…

Tuesday 10^th

Catch train at 9 am and thank goodness its quiet. Spend the whole journey finishing the ‘rail' application. Am so taken with the writing I fail to notice Worthing's ‘17' stations! (Well It can seem like it) and have to save and shut the computer down hurriedly as we approach Brighton.

Spend some time ‘looking' at the station trying to not look like I am ‘checking it out' even though I am. Very aware of the current climate in the country.

Have encouraging and productive meetings at ACE, deliver the ‘sharks teeth' as promised and manage to subversively ‘leave' a row of books in a corridor and the word ‘reflection' (Some 2nd year architecture students diaries of a ‘Disability arts' project we did for ‘squaring the Circle' a few months before) .

Over lunch I have a long conversation with the Disability Arts Officer, I first rang in July 05. She ‘enabled' me to change my practice direction and encouraged me to ‘work with my impairments' and to contact others such as Dada South. We talk about the current renaissance and mainstreaming of ‘quality' Disability Arts in the South East. Encouraged I explain about ‘dadar', pronounced day-dar, a word I coined the previous day. It's the instant bond you ‘feel' upon meeting a fellow ‘Hidden disabled' artist/ person even if they do not immediately ‘explain'. I guess it stems from shared experience, universality and empathy, ‘synesthesic gift' or maybe more, you just seem to ‘know' and feel hence feel ‘safe' to disclose.

Spend the next few hours in the ‘lanes' attempting to find books from my childhood to ‘treat'. Able to find ‘far from the madding crowd' but unable to get ‘Midwich cuckoos' the one I really wanted. Intrigued to also find a recent copy of, ‘The curious tale of the dog in the nigh time' A must read for partners or prospective partners of ‘artists with aspergers' Thus engaged I end up having to run for a train.

Spend the evening with ‘Aspex' at their staff barbeque on the beach in Old Portsmouth. All quiet until 9 when ‘someone' rudely interrupts by deciding to fall, jump or be pushed off the nearby ‘Round tower'. We notice a person struggling to get to shore and collapsing in the surf at the towers base and some head over. They haul him from the sea and call the emergency services, as he is obviously hurt. We then get 2 Fire engines, 2 inshore rescue craft, police, defence launches from the harbour and finally an ambulance, 43 people in all. After they all go we then get the press, who interrupt the ongoing ‘stone skimming' contest. Take a few stones home with me for inclusion in a piece I am currently working on.

Monday 9^th

Again I work on proposals………writing…. My desire to ‘make something' is so great I also work on the treated ‘boxes' and ‘book' that I use to submit with.

There is a brief diversion as I spend some of the day, with the Admin contact, working on the application paperwork to send out for the AA2A scheme at the University. (Artists Access to Art Colleges). I was on this brilliant scheme in 05/06 and have never looked back, it gave me contact with other artists and confidence in my work and practice. This was the first time I had had much to do with an ‘Art College' as I never went due to the ‘wonderfulness' I experienced at school. They kept me on as a mentor for the 06/07 in-take and now I find myself coordinator for the coming year's artist's scheme.

The evening is hectic as I prepare for tomorrow's trip to ACE in Brighton. The glue on one of the boxes will not dry…

Friday 6^th

Spend the morning writing, seem to have done nothing but writing for months.Unfortunately we live in a ‘world of word' and I seem to have so much to write for this project and for the applications I am submitting that I feel like I am drowning.

It's not so much the ‘obvious' aspects of dyslexia, I can read and write, very slowly, its more the ‘fear' of writing that affects me. This all stems back to the abuse I received at school when I was 10-11. I would have to start to write. Up until that point I had ‘camouflaged' my poor literacy skills quite well. My last junior teacher worked this out and for the next year made it deliberately very ‘uncomfortable' for me with seemingly innocent ‘Spelling tests' and ‘stories'. Each time, I would get ‘special treatment' when work was handed back, verbal abuse, mockery and embarrassment, this is what lost me my confidence in writing and people. I had to hide. Sometimes I feel that ‘writing' is comparable to sticking sharp pins (or splinters) in the ends of my fingers, a feeling I recently physicalized in a piece of work.

The afternoon is much better as I spend the time with a fellow CIBAS ‘creative champion' (see the blog). We discuss past and present influences on our differing practices and work out some ways we can collaborate on each other's projects. I find this exciting but the time passes to quickly, and again I affirm that I will not ‘slip into isolation' again. Been there, done that! 25 years as a ‘home alone' illustrator so I didn't have to meet and work with people.

Saturday 7th

Again I have to write in the morning but at last seem to be making headway. Have to stop at lunchtime and catch a train to ‘Artsway', in the new Forrest. Well several trains! Plan to continue writing on the train, ironically to do with the rail project, unfortunately 4 ‘pensioners' also get on and disturb the whole carriage by playing poker and swearing loudly. Even the music I am listening to full volume cannot cut through the ‘blue' language and I can visibly see everyone cringing and settling lower into their seats. Am not temped to continue, the swearing reminds me of school and feels like ‘loud interference' I am unable to block out.

A final intervention by the ‘guard' stops the ‘blue' element but not the volume, so I move further away. Will remember this incident and make something with the feelings stirred.

Finally get to Artsway, it's their 10th anniversary so have ‘open house' to the studios, gallery and finally a celebratory buffet. Decide to ‘leave' the word ‘tin' hidden within the gallery space to tease the ‘exhibitions' manager. Seems obvious as to why? . Am able to do some networking for and about ‘alternative platform' and find a shared love of all things geologic with the partner of an ACE:SE officer. Promise him some fossils as geology was my first degree and I weave its themes and processes into some of my current work. Return not on the train but with Jan and Chris AKA ‘Caravan Gallery' who live a few streets away. This is very welcome, as I couldn't face the train and creates another chance to have a conversation with other creative people…

Sunday 8th

All I will say about today is …. More writing with no redeeming possibilities.