Saturday 14th
Arrive in the morning and am made very welcome. The school is such an ‘enlightened' contrast to my own experiences at junior school its almost emotionally overwhelming. Leave the word ‘dream' hidden in one of the rooms. I am nervous and ‘reserved', but speak and it goes very well, able to weave and contrast my experience with theirs, this resonated especially with the parents. Speak about ‘AP' and have interest from parents from London who wish to take part in the ‘conversations on the trains' when they start. Am asked after, if I could ‘go' back and change what happened to me ‘would I? I explain, calmly, that I wouldn't.
Without having experienced ‘my journey', I would have little ‘depth' to draw upon, I wouldn't be ‘creating the ‘issue based work', the ‘layers' within the work, nor would I be in the position I am with ‘alternative P'. I have no idea what life would be like without constant ‘emotional', ‘mental' and ‘physical' pain I feel now? I don't want to because this is ‘me'. I first had to learn to embrace and accept that this is my reality and evolve, my past informs but it doesn't ‘dictate' my practice any more. I can see that it wont benefit me to dwell on ‘what if' as I just don't know. It's irrelevant, yet an interesting question, one we all ask at some point.
