Better Conversation week 21st-27th Nov 2011
Thanks to the wonder that is Twitter I know its ‘Better Conversation’ week this week 21st-27th November 2011.
And I got to thinking about what does it take for me to converse better? And I stumbled upon something I wrote a while ago to try to simply explain why I benefit so much from the coaching I do.
Coaching is a way of being and leading that offers me the opportunity to be ‘for’ the person I am conversing and holding a space for, so that person explores being their own expert. I believe the simple, yet effective, reflection and clarification techniques allow for coaches to fully hear their coachees, all the way down. My biggest breakthrough has been to actually live out the giving and receiving of permission, which once requested allows the coachee the space to give consent – yes or no. Such a simple request seems to holds so much em-powerment within it.
I have started to see how this can be used in all areas of life, particularly day to day conversations, conflict resolution and this has enabled me to feel what a privilege being a coach is on a deeper level.
So many human interactions I have myself or witness on buses or at work tend to end in a stalemate with both parties mishearing then misunderstanding each other. The combination of seeing the other person as having their own answers, of being able to listen to that person – while still having an ability to share my own agenda, at the appropriate time seems nothing short of revolutionary.
As someone who can struggle to gauge what other’s are really saying, how to be within that context and to stay true to myself and my wants I am beginning to see how these simple conversation growing tools are tools for life. And ones that over time have evolved and deepen the quality of my own personal and professional interpersonal relationships. Imagine though if we all could have access to such simple tools…it may just radically change how all humans interact.
The possibilities opened up by coaching as a way of being link into potential for real conflict resolution in a world with more loving connections;
“Non-violent communication raises the bar for communication skills by allowing everyone to achieve their own needs on their own terms, without coercion, fear of retribution, or loss of self esteem.”
Marshall Rosenberg
How you will you give yourself permission in the remaining few days of Better Conversation week to engage more deeply with those you interact with?
I am all ears.
Anna
