28/10/2009
I’ve been trying to up keep a blog on blogspot.com tracking my residency at the Royal Masonic School. I find it hard to keep up with blogging. I’m easily over ambitious with. Nevertheless, I wanted to join this blogging community because it’s where I turn for virtual community when I most need to ‘connect’ with other artists.
I pick up this blog half a term into my 2nd year in the residency. The adjustment away from being an art student to being an artist has felt slow for me &it’s only in this 2nd year that I’m beginning to grow in understanding of the ‘art world’ &consequently gain confidence. I’m still stumbling around the art world in partial blindness but I can navigate my way around better than I could last year.
I thought I’d write about half term – a week away from responsibilities that pay my keep. Whilst others planned trips home, holidays in the sunshine, a week of rest etc, I boasted heroic plans of a week spent ‘getting on with my own work.’ Things have felt like they are going well recently with my project so I had high hopes for this week.
Suffice to say, three days into half term, &my bubble is fairly well deflated. It’s been an anti-climax week, characterised by lack of motivation, two many sittings of This Morning &Loose Women &a battle with the value of my practice. I feel crippled by the lonely weight of working for &by myself.
As much as I find the technician jobs at the school under-stimulating I take for granted that they offer me time in the real world, adding a touch of structure to my life. This week has been lonely &I’ve found myself escaping into London just to have people around me.
Yesterday I went to see the Pop Life exhibition at Tate Modern. I knew I wouldn’t like it, but I’m glad I went; it’s quite a significant exhibition. Today I went to see the Turner Prize exhibition.
While I was in room3 I was struck with an idea for my own practice. I don’t know where it came from. I can’t draw any connection what-so-ever between what I was looking at &the idea that came to me. But I think it could be an interesting development for my project &when it hit me I drew a deep breath before my sigh of relief. The tube journey into London today was spent fighting back tears because I felt so deflated but the 30 seconds of Idea came like food for my Making-Soul.
Perhaps tomorrow will be a good day, a day I can spend making in the studio. Then again, I thought that about this entire week.
If not … there’s always Loose Women. It is the holidays after all. Also I have a trip to New York that I can start booking and planning.
