BYE FOR NOW
I woke up yesterday morning (Monday) at 5am, terrified and with a sense of blind panic at the prospect of another term. People are always saying ‘I don’t know how you do it with four children’, well the truth of the matter is – not very well at times. The thought of the stress of getting everyone to school with the right stuff, getting to clubs on time, making a fairly disastrous attempt at keeping up with homeworks etc, trying not to let people down, fills me with dread. In the end we forgot the violins, were late for fencing, took a 2hr journey to Southampton to refund some clothes only to find I hadn’t got my husbands debit card but did manage to take one mysteriously spotty child to the doctors. No studio time as ever.
But today is different. Today I will get some work done. This morning I had to do what turned out to be an excrutiatingly painful task. I am tentatively working on another film and have found the best working structure for me is to gather images and pieces of film etc etc and play about with them much as I do with materials in the studio. What I need for this piece are some short recordings of older women getting their nails painted. Now outside my door on a Tuesday my drive entrance is clogged up with old ladies, parking randomly and in their own endearingly thoughtless way, to get to the shin-dig at the Methodist hall opposite where they have a service, a chin wag, play cards and have lunch. Rich pickings I thought, and they may actually enjoy having someone in for a chat for half an hour or so. So I went over to ask if there were any volunteers. Table after table of rejection. Either they were out every day and far too busy or they just didn’t fancy it or, when I sat in Mary’s seat by mistake, they were downright hostile. Now I don’t mind really, I’ve worked on many projects with older people and they are my favourite group to work with and have earned the right to be beligerent. But it was hard work. Oh for a granny or an ancient Aunt I could call on for a favour, our family are somewhat thin on the ground. I wonder how other film makers find their subjects. Being a relatively shy person underneath I hate asking people for their help. In the end I got two, ‘Oh alright if no-one else will do it’ candidates so alls well in the end. But I’m glad that bit’s over.
I realise now that I no longer fit the description at the top of my blog. I have taken up my ‘bare bones’ and set out on the journey again although I’m not sure how far I’ve progressed. Either way the first steps have been taken, the funding has come to an end and I’m tooled up and ready to go. To say goodbye to the support this site provides though would be too scary so a new blog is called for. Unsurprisingly it will be entitled ‘Flesh on the Bones’. How far I survive in this landscape when my circumstances all scream that it’s impossible is yet to be seen. But if there’s one thing that will make me more determined, it’s the voice that says it can’t be done.
Thankyou for all your support and kind, wise and funny comments – see you on the next blog!
