A new day, a new month, and if I think time is moving scarily fast now, I can’t imagine how much it’s going to accelerate, and soon.
I’ve had a break for a few days – Reading Festival, it was awesome, before you ask – but you know it’s really weird. We’re all familiar with the old saying “all work and no play…” but it doesn’t stop you feeling guilty. I know I need time to internalize my thoughts and ideas. I need time away, not consciously thinking about my work, in order to get the best results… and yet… all I end up doing is putting myself through guilt trips thinking what I could have done with those few days…
Take this summer for instance, I know this coming year is going to be tough, I know I should enjoy the summer break, get well rested, and prepare mind and body for the big finale. But then as always life is never that simple! I need to get my dissertation drafted in these next four weeks, more than drafted really, cause the final deadline is January 15th, straight after xmas break. Big problem! (a) I want to give this term all my headspace, and (b) over the xmas break I’m off gallivanting to NZ. Yes I know, big risk, but it shouldn’t be really. Should be easy right, I have plenty of time to get research done, get 6,500 words written, relax and enjoy this next term. Then I can look at the xmas break as my belated summer break. Job done!
Least that’s what I’m constantly trying to convince myself. My dissertation is still very much in the planning stages at present, but “don’t panic” is my motto and I’ll get there I’m sure. I’m looking at painting, photography and the portrait and am currently getting my head around Freud and Lacan. The mirror stage, the role of artist/sitter and viewer… I’ll keep you posted on my progress, mind you blog-silence should speak volumes I’ve no doubt.
The thing is, English or should I say essay writing isn’t my forte and I find all this art writing, while really worthwhile, very hit and miss, very subjective. I haven’t figured out the winning formula yet, if indeed there is one. Give me logic any day of the week, right or wrong, that I can handle – my previous lives were pretty mathematical.
I will get some painting done too, if I plan my days right; don’t spend too much frivolous time on Facebook for instance. I’m looking at a new series of paintings of children; I am intrigued by the notion of “visible gender”. By that I mean, when a baby is born, invariably as an onlooker you wouldn’t know that it was a boy or a girl without all the societal norms that are put in place from the off, the clues that help you decipher: pink/blue clothes; toys; hair length and styles… tbc…
