Cover her Head, Part two, 2016 -17

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Process 1

Waiting is Over
Materials
Whole piece cotton fabric and 50m linen tape, hand stitched Approx 5’ 2” long.
Context and Influences
Marlene Dumas Dead eyed figures, corpse enclosed in claustrophobic frame
Christ……..sacrifice? futile?

Medieval tombs – wives who can no longer speak but endure in stone

Damian Hurst The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living, 1991…. [Cold Fish]
Ron Mueck something about the stillness and uncompromising
Waiting poem by Faith Wilding faithwilding.refugia.net/waitingpoem.pdf
Hand stitched text in capitals in various threads, chosen to reflect phrases. Wilding describes the stages of a woman’s life, waiting to get through supporting others, with the implication that she never has time to support herself.
Making
Figure sketched freehand on folded fabric, released from cloth and stitched together. Working on floor to accommodate length which emphasised the feeling of lying flat. Stuffed with wadding.
Questions
Should the figure be entire with no insets. Other figures see above enabled +sheer joy of making let me add chin, and feet and released figure from total prison of inert fabric.
Hands, eventually decided these should be trapped by her side…she can run but she can’t do anything creative…..
Tape, decided to add walnut ink dye, to age it? Contrast? Slow hand stitching took some months…relate to other text stitchers [Lorina Bulwer, Elizabeth Parker Agnes Richter} whose creativity was part of their endurance,
Wrapping some of tape round figure enclosed her and leaving circle of remainder revealed length of repetitious life ………….mostly hidden in both cases.

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Been consolidating some of my work which seems to be positive. I have been concerned about only doing solo figures, [shades of modernism presumably, my go-to influence from youth} I found the power of pieces communicating can deepen and clarify.
It came about because I was asked by tutors to stop making and think about what I have made. I sulked then started making sketches and some drawings, which helped me feel more in control of the output but I cant claim thinking consciously occurred. Ideas just popped up.
The theme I have now developed of All the Women I am – are Tired has also given me more confidence to follow my feelings rather than the slogan of Women need armour.
Tinkety Tonk and Down with the Nazis
So far the pics included seem to be 3 solitary figures……

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Photo’d some of my pieces in isolation [with practical aid] helpful to see them in different space. Binding the corpse with the Faith Wilding tape empowered both pieces.
This documentation is all in preparation for my Final exhibition, in June!!! seems a bit previous but tutors require, and it has been helpful in some ways.
Think I would like to make a companion piece for my “dancer”….I make a lot of solitary figures, which may form a dialogue with others, {I don’t know If Cerberus can hear herself] but It would give me the opportunity to develop this aspect. The dancer is meant to talk of shyness, self concern, isolation of young, adding another to the dance could be interesting……
Also struck me that making my large [blue] figure develop a set of testicles, which as s/he is with foetus could explore the growing awareness of gender complexity, male v female characteristics, me wearing jeans for most of my life = cross dressing? subconscious messages about the fluidity of identity and understandings,of the Other, are we all The Other. Gender confusions add to the unsteadiness of our security these days?

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I have now made a body of work, which I must consider how I would curate for the Final Show next Spring. Seems a bit early to me, I want to continue making to see where I get to, but the tutorial order to stop making and THINK has probably begun a useful process.
Also I had the Crit group from hell when 2 other students wrinkled their brows and asked if something “horrible” had ever happened to me, as they couldn’t relate to my theme that patriarchy was harmful to women.
At first I became incoherent with frustration, the young male and female student looked so concerned for my mental health, but slowly I found I was considering their view. they were both only expressing their personal perceptions.
So one day I realised that this was a good thing.
My pieces have been somewhat polemical, call to un/arms……. an argument rather than an authentic reaction. Then I saw the slogan
“All the Women in me are tired” or was it “All the women I am are tired” It opened a door for me, or a window or maybe just the curtains.
I am not sure about using the “am tired” part, but it is certainly true. The polymyalgia is on the wain, but I ache fiercely in most joints as I come off the steroids and I AM 73, I am beginning to accept that…..soooo
I now feel more confident about me work as it is Mine, and I can pursue it with more vigour, rather than having to think what to say next.
Although the constrictions of the Final Show balance this new found freedom of expression. The requirement to curate a unified piece of work……does that really mean I cant make this or that because it doesn’t fit in !?
Also the needling about using “new media” a video……I like the idea of an endless loop of endless stitching but how!?

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I think as well as exploring the metaphorical armour that women might need in a patriarchal society I am beginning to think more deeply into female vulnerability; I don’t want to present a female version of machismo. Is vulnerability a positive ……to be valued
So I blagged some zinc off cuts from a kind colleague and started making a corset….as armour. thinking about the need to comply to fashion, possibly more a female wish than male currently, but by achieving the hour glass figure approved of as sexually alluring it emphasises the female role. I am experimenting with binding it on in various ways and also re-learned to drill holes so I can link the parts.