crossing the river

I was just rereading Rob Turners wonderful post about rejection letters

www.a-n.co.uk/p/570784

(see post no 28)

I want to submit this one for the prize of ‘rejection letter most likely to be received with cheers’

‘Thank you for your submission for the xxxxxxx commission. We very much liked your work, but felt that there would be other areas of the xxxxx where your work would have more impact and we would like to retain your information for future commissions.’

Hurray!

Is self belief the only thing an artist really needs?

Two days to go to the Rogue Open Studio where I’m showing some new work in Jackie Wylie’s studio, in a group show called ‘All cats look grey in the dark’

I’ve been feeling pretty ambivalent about telling people about the work, and inviting them to the show. It’s my first new work since I graduated, and the first time I’ve had to develop work without the support of tutors and peers. It’s been hard to assess whether it works, without that regular feedback.

But today I realised today that I need to really believe in the work, I need to champion it and feel proud of it. I need to be like a proud parent of my work, and see it through eyes of love and appreciation. Otherwise my work will become tentative and apologetic, and I will grind to a halt, which is the last thing I want.

I came to this realisation because I’ve been asked to do a residency next year, and I will probably need to get a team of helpers together. I was thinking about how that would be and how I would need to really sell the project to them, even if I have my own worries and insecurities, because I will need their enthusiasm and commitment, and to generate it in them, I will need to embody it myself.

So I need to cultivate that attitude with all of my work. As artists we are always asking people to trust us, that the work will get done, will be relevant, will be interesting, and an insecure attitude by the maker will not help. I’m not saying that a massive ego is a prerequisite to success, but that having confidence is important, to challenge the interior critic that I have, and I’m sure everyone has to some extent.

I’m going to try and see it as a discipline to practice – like believing 10 impossible thing before breakfast, I’m going to practice thinking positive thoughts about my work and see what happens.

Shouldn’t be writing – should be packing! I’m heading off to Stroud in a few minutes to catch the last weekend of the Stroud International Textile Festival.

http://www.stroudinternationaltextiles.org.uk/

The sun is shining, we’re camping at a lovely site and alls well with the world!

http://www.thistledown.org.uk/camping.html

Except I’ve just picked up the hire van and the small one I ordered has not been returned so they’ve given me a massive one! I don’t like driving anyway, but this is even worse. At least everyone seems to defer to me on the road. I feel like putting a big sign on it saying – ‘Give me plenty of room or risk your wing mirrors!’

So my advice to A-N readers is, avoid the M6 and M5 until about 6pm tonight.

i

After a day in bed with food poisoning, I am going to have to struggle into the studio today to make up for lost time. And I’ve also missed most of the FuturEverything events which are all over Manchester this weekend

http://www.futureeverything.org/

But on the positive side, I have clarified what I am doing for the Rogue Open Studio show. All I need now is to make the pieces! I am still pretty confident that I can get it all done, but I’ll have to spend every spare minute in the studio. An added complication is the time I’m going to lose when I go to Stroud on Friday to see the last weekend of the International Textile Festival, and to take down my installation.

On a positive note, I’ve solved the sheets storage issue. I’ve had the chance to take on another studio space which I can use for storage and as a space for doing bigger work, trying out installations etc. which there is no room for in our new studio – it is pretty full with the two of us. It is a big relief. I love my sheets but they are a logistical nightmare!

Ok, off to work.

Hotbed Press staff and members were wonderfully helpful last week,

http://www.hotbedpress.org

and I got my screen made and some prints done and started trying out some ideas. I think I am going to show a series of samples, rather than a resolved piece, and have been showing my work around and getting ideas and feedback.

This is my first non-textiles show, and ironically, the work is more textiley than anything else I’ve done. I feel nervous but also excited. There is so much to do to get it all ready and not only making – also sourcing materials and shopping – which feels such a waste of time. But deadlines do concentrate the mind and I’m being very efficient!

Mia and I moved studios at the weekend, to a smaller but warmer south-facing studio – which is more practical but I rather regret the smaller space. And am slightly worried about the signs of leaks in the roof. Not having had rain for weeks, it is hard to tell if they are old or current, so I made sure everything was out of the way of them before I left on Sunday. However we are next door to Hotbed who are having some work done on their part of the building, so I think the landlord might also sort out our roof, fingers crossed!

I’m not going to get to the studio today because I promised to help with some student assessments – really interesting to see what they have done. I met them at the beginning of the year and this is the outcome of their years work. They have all moved on so far.

It is also helping me to reflect on my own development over the past year. I’ve been really luck. I’ve had some great opportunities since I graduated – some that I have strived for, but reassuringly, some that have come out of the blue, or out of other work I’ve done, or from connections with other artists. I’m beginning to develop some new work and learning to work without the support of tutors. I’ve got a studio and getting down there regularly. It feels like I’ve made a good start.