The drawing is reaching a completed state. I reach a point where the demands of accurate observation give way to the demands of the drawing. I then feel that I can go with the work rather than struggle with it.
Drawing. I do it. I'm working on a small drawing about 10in x10in. of some long dead lilies. Looking down. It's very difficult. I wear the difficulty as a criticism of my competence. I travel hopefully but bearing in mind potential disaster. Even the slightest change in my position changes relationships throughout the subject. Sometimes I cannot tell if I have made a mistake, or if the subject really looks like that. It takes me back to teaching. I felt always that the value in learning to draw was to be found in the resultant ability to look, to question, to take nothing for granted. So the child's ultimate ability to describe something 'accurately' was second to his/her growing capacity to challenge and wrestle with preconceptions. Similarly in teachers' relationships with children. Our initial position and our ability to shift and to see anew is vital.
I have done some more to one of the grey paintings. I was trying to 'whisper' the vase of roses onto the canvas; it is difficult not to shout sometimes when I cannot make my point. The pit of sentimentality threatens. I try to stay away.
Back to work. There are not enough hours in the day just to deal with distractions!! I have started a series of smallish paintings !8 x18in, 22 X 22in and 24 x 24in. Mixing greys again and building textures which will provide a context for the image that joins them. I am thinking "What you mean is 'backgrounds'… " but I am trying to resist the term since it smacks of formula – slap on a background and then paint an image onto it. I like greys especially when they are the product of colours and perhaps have a tint in them. I like the 'juiciness' of paint. This probably points to some unresolved infantile condition, but I'm reminded of Henry Moore's negative response to the possibility of psychoanalysis, on the grounds that it might remove his need for his work. The therapy of working is enjoyable but must never be allowed to solve the problem.I have the notion of using precise glazed images over the 'backgrounds'. I shall see.
Painter, sometime blogger.
