Working today on this painting I am aware of the difficulty of seeing. Or to put it another way, the difficulty of accurate rendering. But that is not quite right either, because the act of looking reveals the impossibility of the task. I am constantly aware that what I produce is a compromise between my aspirations and my technical capacities. Images can only approach their objects and never quite meet them.
This work arose from a feeling that I wanted to make a large(ish)38in x60in painting. I like the physicality of painting with a large brush and immediate marks. Mixing paint, in this case grey/black/pink from blues browns and reds and creating an all-over surface of brushmarks was a pleasure in itself. Somewhat self indulgent perhaps. I do not have the confidence and cannot justify leaving what seems merely to be the visual equivalent of a soft drink. I looked at the surface and wanted to intimidate it. The yellow was to be an irreversible gesture. The bowl below arose from previous painting. There is something about the insubstantial nature of transparent glazes that is suggestive of form whilst contradicting it. So I did not want to make a detailed image, but an immanent one. Similarly with the flowers. They are painted with thin layers and bounded by dark line. I struggle with the line. I like tight line. It is the antithesis of gesture but provides me with a similarly physical enjoyment in the making and looking. The difference between elegance and clumsiness can be measured in hairsbreadths, as can that between meaning and nonsense.
So what have I done? I have never come to terms with the strangeness of it all.
My posted images do not appear too be of veyry high quality!!! work in progress I am learning!!
