I’m at work… pretty tiring day… my job involves talking to victims of crime about what’s happened and trying to provide them some help, advice, support… not sure why that’s relevant to my artist-work. I spend quite a lot of time on my own, studying, writing, making stuff (sometimes) and I live on my own so talking to people on the phone is draining but in a good way, it feels enriching.
On Saturday I drew quite a bit, abstract things on paper, cloth and a saucer. Also filmed a saucepan of water coming to the boil on my hob. And photographed my (balletic) blinds curving in the wind – I always keep my windows wide open, I like a breeze blowing through the flat.
Have been reading about photography and feel it might be worth exploring in more depth. Something I always wanted to do at art school but didn’t have the courage (or the patience or the knack?)… I find it enthralling reading about depth of field, grain, focal length, horizontal/vertical, and learning to see those qualities in the photographs made by ace women artists. Perhaps quite a formalist at heart (although I do love socially motivated work like Mierle Laderman Ukeles’ garbage-barge ballet – how to reconcile this?) I took a set of photographs a few years ago all of the same tree, but each using a different apeture. The results were quite beautiful and subtly graded in colour density and focus. Might try something similar now. Will try and post some of those photographs if I can find them.
Enough writing for today. I was thrilled to find that someone had commented on my first post yesterday. So much for being invisible :)
I’m three quarters through a part time PgDip in History of Art. We’re just onto modern and contemporary art. Previously to that I did a BA at Chelsea in Fine Art: Painting. I work part time in quite a demanding job. In October I’m going to York University for a one year MA in History of Art. Got funding so don’t have to work that year, can really focus. But find myself longing for art making again.
As part of my course I’m reading a book edited by Gill Perry on women’s practice. There’s a brilliant interview in there with Cornelia Parker, talking about a pretty romantic view of being an artist, of wanting freedom and philosophical/intellectual stimulation. It ignited all that pent up desire to ‘be’ an artist. Is it easier to ‘be’ one than to actually get down and make things? After so much critical study of the history of art (and more to come, which i do love), it’s strange to have those desirous feelings recur, pulling me towards that almost vocation of artisthood, of freedom, discovery, spirituality, politics, philosophy etc. Is that type of thing still possible now?
I don’t think I’m as good an artist as I am a writer and scholar. But art is probably harder to grade isn’t it?
Like a lot of people on this a-n site, I want to record thoughts and experiences in the hope that I might have a deeper engagement with art and develop a meaningful practice of my own. I’m hoping to question things and leave myself written reminders, because it’s so easy to keep worrying over the same thing.
Writing about this feely stuff looks strange as art is ‘meant’ in my mind to be hyper critical. I feel quite exposed already, open to other people’s criticism, and also thinking, well it doesn’t matter because no-one’s going to read this blog anyway. I think it’s mainly for myself anyway. Will try and write something more concrete soon.
