Diary of an Art Historian

Oh dear! Dissertation mad focus is getting in the way of sharing my potentially briliant (or more likely, jumbled) thoughts with the a-n crew. So i thought I’d post my freelance journal from my website, and also a couple of new links to articles I’ve recently had published…

Lately, I have missed having a regular blogging schedule. In particular, I’ve missed the weekly gift that the Freelance Journal set of posts gave of half an hour to think and write about what I’m doing with my life, to realign with, and to question, my goals and values, and to prepare my mind for next seven days. I absolutely credit online journalling, since the beginning of 2010, with the excavation of some of my lifelong dreams – and, in part, for the courage and energy to work towards them.

So, thoughts on life, academia and freelancing…

It’s only two weeks to go until my MA dissertation is done, bound and handed over. I loved the research phase of the project, but writing has been tough and the central arguments, vague and coagulating in my brain, are only just starting to come together now. Thankfully, I have a bunch of wonderful girlfriends – some who I’ve known for years and some, bless them, who are an amazing online support troop – who have been there, and I’m finally becoming convinced that the damn work will get done and will get done well!

Freelance-wise, September/October has so far been a pleasantly fruitful period, with one of my favourite interviews ever taking place (dare I hope it is the start of a super friendship?); my appointment as UK Managing Editor of Whitehot Magazine; a book review; and two excellent writing commissions for an independent sculptor and an Arts Council funded, artist-led exhibition – more to come on those at a later date.

On a practical note, I did plenty of down-to-earth-freelance-businesswoman type stuff, such as file my tax return; create brand spanking new sexy headed paper for quotes, invoices and suchlike; reorganised my paper financial records and folders on the Mac; and set up new Excel spreadsheets to help with calculations. I thought this worth mentioning, partly as I’m so proud to have completed these usually-annoying tasks, but also because these activities taught me about the sheer pleasure of doing useful-but-boring things as procrastinatory tool. I mean, if you’re going to practice dissertation avoidance, a few hours put towards claiming a tax refund (and then buying gorgeous new boots with the cash) must be better than watching back to back Curb Your Enthusiasm!

On a more fun, lifestylie note, I’ve been loving taking long walks, going gluten free (SO much more energy, you would not believe it, it can’t be a placebo effect, surely?), munching my organic veg delivery and watching 1999 episodes of the 1900 House with my mum in the evenings. I’ve also been ordering books like a fiend on Amazon in preparation for my first-time-in-three-years novel reading bliss out. So far, Virginia Woolf’s The Waves, Anne Lamott’s Hard Laughter, and (ahem, I’m just curious and idealistic) Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert have made the list. Recommendations much appreciated…

Back in the UK, slowly recovering from jetlag/brain-freeze, have set up a makeshift ‘office’ in my parents back bedroom, where I’m staying until I finish my dissertation and figure out what to do next.

I miss my US-based partner like crazy, and am trying to distract myself with work and with long walks around the sheep farm near my parents’ house. I missed lambing season, and missed the harvest, which is disappointing. But the Autumnal breeze, and the flapping leaves, are gorgeous nonetheless.

I recently subscribed to a-n for the first time in a few years. I *just* qualified for the artist rate, which I’m really thrilled about – having a Fine Art degree, several exhibitions to my name and several (albeit small) paid painting and drawing commissions.

This feels like a real step forward for me in terms of reasserting my creative identity, calling myself an artist, or at least a person who makes things and writes stories (Louise Bourgeois did both of those things!)

I’m looking forward to making the most of those resources, and drawing more support and friendship from the a-n community – as well as giving something back!

I also just registered for a creative writing course with the OU. This shouldn’t be too much a time/energy drain as it doesn’t begin until after my dissertation deadline, and it’s the most beginnerish one they offer. It will be interesting for me to try and make sense of art and my experiences away from art in the past few years through fiction and observational word play.

Looking forward to it all.

I’ve just finished putting together a newsletter – which will be coming out monthly from now on. It will cover my travels, reading, research and activities to be an artist… If you’d like to read it click here.

I’ll try and get back to daily writing on here as I really appreciate the community and I like the opportunity to consider what I’m doing, how satisfied I am, and what changes I might make.

Anyway, much love to you all, and on with the damn dissertation!

I’m finding at the moment that dealing with disappointment is a big part of each day.

From things like cancelled interviews and publications, to struggling with insomnia and adjusting some medication I’m on in order to not feel fuzzy headed all the time, I’m having to adjust my expectations about how much I can achieve each day and what other people are supposed to do for me.

I think this is at least the second time I’ve written something like this in 2010. It’s such a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it? As artists, academics and creative people, we want always to be challenging ourselves and doing new things, expanding our horizons and abilities. Then something comes up and we’re suddenly just trying to keep head above water for a while.

Is balance and routine the answer here? Or is burnout and overwork just part of the creative life? I want to say no to that, and live in a way that keeps me healthy.

Setting up an artist-led space: the ‘Why’ factor…

Rosalind recently asked me a pertinent, and challenging, question. It’s had me shaking in my boots – well, sandals, actually, we’re having a heatwave here in Philly – and thinking hard. So, after a few days of wondering, I decided to set a timer and blog my tentative, flighty, totally unedited, stream-of-consciousness, passionate answer…

Why do you want to set up an artist led space?

– I want to be in West Philadelphia to be with my amazing partner & I want to have a real, hardcore purpose and set of goals to work on while I’m here

– I care passionately about the arts, always have, probably always will, and have always dreamed of running a small space, with a garden, plenty of light, and a friendly atmosphere

– I’d love to facilitate artists residencies and having a physical space set up would be an ideal way to do that

– I’m a bit of a control freak and so, rather than work my up in a big commercial gallery or museum as a curatorial assistant and so on, I would rather carve out a modest space on which I can make my mark, and help other independent artists and curators to do the same

– Also, I have an entrepreneurial type of spirit – hence the blogging, the freelancing etc – and, as above, prefer the challenge of running a business of sorts rather than working for a salary

– Running a gallery in West Philadelphia in particular brings together my two desired outcomes in life – developing contemporary art and doing something socially active, socially worthwhile (which I feel I’ve neglected over the past few years) – I hope that community outreach and education in the city’s poorer/high-crime areas can be part of the gallery’s remit

– I’ve found over the past few years that working as a writer has brought me into contact with so many more interesting and helpful and friendly people that I would otherwise have met. I’m kind of antisocial and shy (would you believe!?), so interviewing people and calling people regarding research and giving presentations pushes me out of that comfort zone and into brilliant new relationships, friendships, opportunities and networks. I reckon running a gallery would make for a similar push out of my comfort zone into new wonderful experiences and friendships

– Making friends in Philly is very important to me, as a newbie here, and I hope that having a real project on the go will (as above) push me to meet new people and enjoy life

– I’ve worked in galleries and always wanted to be the one in charge, haha! On a less control-freakish note, when I’ve worked in galleries, I’ve always paid attention to systems, mailing-lists, PR, ways of handling work and people, even little things like cleaning the gallery floor and making notes on the condition of paintings each day – I want, one day, to be able to teach someone else the ropes, help others embark on their art careers

– I’m an artist

Ok, timer buzzed… I feel a little exposed, but there you go… trying not to judge myself or my motivations… I’ll keep thinking about ‘the Why’. Thanks to Rosalind Davis for the great question!

These were my end of day tweets:

* Perfect NYC day! V productive research meeting, interviewed lovely artist, Cohan Gallery show, high line, cheesecake @ Veselka, ahh.

* ps – I used to eat at Veselka every week (way back before it was on Gossip Girl).

Thought I’d paste here as they sum it up pretty well!

Also… you can find me on twitter if you want more (though my life isn’t usually so glamorous).

http://twitter.com/musehunter