Chunk 2:
Since the Liverpool show, I have been struggling to make any more art work. I have made a couple of pieces in the first year after graduating but nothing of real substance or significance. I had one of them in Drays Walk Gallery in London which was pretty cool. But during all the internal struggles and battles, I made a decision to give myself a break for a while and just let the things that happened on my degree settle down and percolate, and give myself time to reflect upon things and try and understand what it was that I learnt. I continued to visit galleries and read etc but with no real direction or purpose. That kind of worked for a while and I was able to go back to things about a year or so later. When I was in India, I read some Buddhist stuff which seemed to finally sum up what I think I’m thinking about. But then one distraction after another, and still no art work.
In the two and a half years between finishing university and writing this blog, I can see, in some ways, how I have got myself in this mess: Like I say, I struggled and beat myself up for a few months before deciding to just give myself some thinking space without the pressure of a direction or outcome. That worked and I felt I could breathe much easier! Then I left my job in the Visual Art Department at a nearby college due to all sorts of complicated reasons which I shan’t go in to right here, right now. I took a part time job working in a gym as a receptionist – this is a highly unsuitable for a creative individual who’s exercise and fitness interest is exceptionally low!!! Although I unexpectedly enjoyed this job and ended up staying there for a year, it did have an effect upon my creativity because I had taken myself out of an art based network. Yeah of course I still went to galleries and talks now and again and saw friends who were artists, but a large quantity of my time was not in the right situation for me. More distractions came with planning my wedding which just seemed like loads more fun than reading, thinking and frowning all the time! Then my Dad got seriously ill with cancer which has resulted in 2 very large brain tumours, both leaving him temporarily without speech or movement. Along with those came side effects of drugs which resulted in a short, but horrific, burst of psychosis. The second large tumour was discovered just 2 days before the wedding and so all that was cancelled and I am waiting for his recovery to get a little bit better before rescheduling. Then my other half was made redundant, found out his mum had breast cancer and dad has to have major open heart surgery. Oh and we’ve just relocated from Southampton to Andover……!
My first post is going to come in several chunks as I have written more than the 500 word allocation….
Chunk 1:
So, I’ve decided to start a blog in the hope that it may clear up some of the problems and worries that I have been facing over the past couple of years. I’m hoping that by writing each day (more or less) about my thoughts and feelings, things will tease themselves out and put themselves into some sort of format whereby I can review them and discuss them.
About me; well I’m a 25 year old graduate form Winchester School of Art. I studied Textile Art and graduated in 2007, nearly two and a half years ago. To put it briefly I’m interested in the transient nature of things, memory and the environment. My work usually takes the form of an installation, although I wonder if it does actually fit into this category at times, but that’s another story for another time…. You can see my work at www.louisestokes.co.uk
As I was coming to the very end of my degree I applied and was accepted for an exhibition in the Site Gallery in Liverpool (opposite Tate Liverpool!) This was an enormous achievement for me and I was dead chuffed. So, pretty much the day after my Degree Show private view, I drove all the way from Winchester to Liverpool to make the same piece of work all over again for ‘Demolition’. It was a fantastic opportunity as I was brave enough to take some risks with this piece which I wanted to take with my degree work but was advised very strongly against. And, I discovered that these risks paid off and the work really came together and I think was more successful than the Degree Show piece.
(Maybe I should explain these ‘risks’ a little so that you know what I’m talking about…. The pieces that I made both for the Site Gallery and my Degree Show were floor based installations made up entirely of lose, unfixed white sugar. The sugar was used in such a way that I was able to cover areas of the floor in near perfect type face which was actually built using the lose sugar. The risk in question here was whether or not to break part of the installation up once it was ‘completed’ by passing a broom through areas of it, utterly destroying parts of the work. I think my tutors felt this was a very big, potentially unnecessary risk to take at the eleventh hour of my degree. What if it looked terrible? What if it all went wrong? What if I regretted it and needed to rebuild everything? Well, I listened to this advice knowing that the Site Gallery exhibition would give me the chance to try it out with no effect upon my grades etc. I think I made the right decision on both occasions. It was a huge risk, which fortunately worked out and in the right place at the right time!)
