This past year has been much about deciphering what exactly I mean, want and intend as opposed to what I trick myself into thinking I mean, want and intend. To quote Martin Creed: ‘What is the Point?’
As much as I would like to think otherwise, I have been dillydallying around with stuff that is inconsequential to the reality of life. Those little distractions that suddenly have consumed a whole life, have been allowed to take priority – straightening the deck chairs as the Titanic sinks.
It seems that the solution to this must be to pare back to absolute basics, and with this it must be essential to be entirely truthful to oneself. A tricky thing to do.
When existing in a permanent maelstrom of chaos how is it possible to find a moment of calm within the cacophony? I really don’t know, but I need to find out..
My father is a big believer in seeing progression in artistic practice as a key to quality. His big bugbears (well one of them) is the ‘one trick pony’ artist (fill in your own names here). This is obviously a subjective judgement and perhaps one that for fairness, requires more inquiry than a cursory glance at a review can supply.
However it is a useful thing to hold in mind at certain points when making. A goal at any rate. Is there a progression here? Am I on a flat line of development – wallpaper in different colour ways or am I a little bit nearer to reinventing the elusive wheel?
Being of very poor memory, I struggle to hold lots of conscious strands in my head at one time and have to rely upon a greater power in the subconscious to make sense of it all, somewhere. I’m sure it’s more truthful working in this way, following intuition, hoping that it won’t let you down.
So following my Apple Pie Marathon at the last Fermynwoods Wild Networking event this seemed right.
I used to think that if I made something that would be considered to be ‘art’ than that, by default was ‘my work’. This idea has over the past few years shown itself to be highly problematic and generally false.
The fact that as many artists do, I work in several different areas, working in very different ways. How do I decide which bits, if any or all, are the REAL work? And once one area is identified, what do I do about all the others which may be equally valid in other ways? Am I many people or one?
A fragmented and bitty style of working is not particularly conducive to clarity in train of thought. How many great inventions and discoveries were formed in amongst the doing of a thousand other tasks in the same day? Is it possible to find truth and wisdom in amongst a pile of assorted stuff? I doubt it.
In an ideal world, with no financial requirements, would I be working on just the real stuff? Perhaps the real stuff needs to be squashed between the not real stuff and can’t exist without it? If I get rid of my not real stuff will I be overwhelmed by reality? How do I test this equation and am I better off living in blissful ignorance of the truth?
It seems that the answer lies in the edit. What we take out seems to be more important to what is left. Zen purity perhaps. Except that I’m not sure zen suits me. I have been styling myself in chaos for years – surely chaos IS in me? I need to find a way to resist the over hoarding nature I have of being terrified to ‘waste’ anything, and to see that ‘to throw away’ is a valuable tool in discovering what is truly valuable.
