“Dungbeetle and Sisyphus”

Today I did a huge amount of research and feel my weekly research quota satisfied…

Thank god for the wirelessavailable in the A-Foundation in Liverpool!

A second car breakdown in one week is slowing me down considerably. And just as I am ready to go back to the studio there is a giant spider crawling around Liverpool causing masses of people blocking every street and I just can't get through..

So : art…..? None today just blockages to constructive activities..

Tomorrow the Japanese Artist Sukuro arrives, he will be lodging in my flat, during my absence from my flat.

It's hard to be effective without staying in my house and with all these obstructions between the studio and myself.. I feel like a baglady… carrying her worldly possessions everywhere relying on public wireless and constantly on the lookout for food..

Dung

that was the mission and now I have a huge load of it, and it is almost liquid and overall pretty disgusting.. But strangely enjoyable.

I am slowly turning into an expert on all sorts of things, the lates being lime-clay and dung mixtures.. and how to make them, where to locate the ingredients… etc.. I recommend that you never work under tight scheduled deadlines! They are quite possible to achieve, but they are expensive! Instead of 3-4 day deliveries you have to pay for next day ones, instead of not driving through pouring rain for hours you could just leave the job a day and drive in nice weather instead.. etc..

Now I am sitting in the studio happy like a pig in mud, and am dung splattered from de-canting the dung from a giant barrel to smaller more manageable 40 liter containers… sludge sludge sludge…

I smell of cow

Momentary perfection!

Americano at £1 in the A Foundation on Greenland Street, wireless internet, some clothing that indicates I misjudged the temperature levels today, so there are also goose-bumps on my skin.

Mike boogeying to some funk/pop, whilst making salad behind the counter.

I am pleased with the setting to let some thoughts dangle.

And that is urgent, too. I have just taken 4 days out of any kind of activity to let the Muse catch up with me… I was sort of hearing her panting, breathlessly, behind me..

The rest of today is for rest, too. But some serious action is required from tomorrow.

First and foremost of course is the importance to finish the dungball…

And then a plan for all of the other project work.

…..

Life consists of more than running away from insane declarations of affection, followed by severe stalking and threats … all of which I respond to with great distress.

Today a lot of doubts about my career, and choices made on it's behalf, were swept away simply by the wonderful smell of a gallery in preparation for an exhibition, by the leafing through art magazines and browsing of art related event announcing leaflets.. All these words on paper meaning so much to those who wrote them, all the effort undertaken with such great sense of purpose and necessity.

A moment of happiness glimpsed and taken advantage of … the only cause of it, the white walls of the gallery space, the scent of paint, the presence of a cafe bar closing for the day, the purchase of an art magazine, the chat with an art director who was too tired to really talk but who reminded me of a wonderful journey to Venice on which he made me laugh and made me feel part of it all. And I am, I am part of it all. A cog in the wheel that turns, a creator of art works, an incubator for many good ideas. An indispensable part of the Whole thing. Well, maybe I am not indispensable but for it to be as it is I am quite vital.

It would be different without me.

I just caught up with a small piece of my soul that had ran off and went into hiding, and I stumbled upon it there at the gallery. There are several other pieces of my soul still missing, out on the run from all this stress that this man has caused in my life. But I am very clearly aware that my main job is to locate pockets of peace and these pieces of soul will reconnect to the main core of me and I'll be back with gusto!

The soul is a strange thing. Is it even a thing at all?

But I do feel that the gallery scents brought a missing part of me back to the rest of me. And I am amazed how instantly inspiration can work it's tricks! . . .