Experience, Create, Review, Repeat

This next project has been in my mind as something I’ve wanted to pursue for a while.  Initially the emotional challenge was a fundamental part of the idea.  As a woman researching and addressing issues of feminine power in her work, why should I feel any fear at laying myself completely open in this physical way?  That fear was more of a hypothetical question in the planning stages of the project, mainly because it’s one extreme element of my character to not allow myself to feel embarrassed.  However, perhaps predictably, when it came time to shoot, the nerves kicked in.

I find it difficult confronting my own nudity.  This is a fundamental part of the idea.  Those nerves had the desired effect of forcing me to ask why.  I believe it to be, because I feel that my body doesn’t represent the dimensions of perfection as fed to us by patriarchal views in today’s society.

On Show, 2014, Hannah Maynard, photographic image

This image is one I wanted to make in order to represent this inner cycle of scrutiny.  The paintings are my own work and depict very specific, feminine parts of my anatomy.  The lighting is bright and inescapable, much like the spotlight that shines on women everywhere, everyday in western society.

Although in some respects the production of this piece of work has been cathartic for me as a woman, I feel more strongly the development of my interest in this subject from my perspective as an artist. Within the piece I am asking questions which go on to generate even more questions and open up a world of enquiry in this field.

Nuddy paintings done, now time to break some pain barriers and cut to the chase.

Untitled, 2014, Acrylic on canvas, Hannah Maynard

So, I managed to work through the inspirational block and finish this last painting.  I’m a little disillusioned by the process given the difficulties I’ve experienced and have certainly learned a few valuable lessons.  I know now not to rush into slapping it on just to get something moving.  Although, I’m sure that in some circumstances that would be the best course of action, I think that a little careful consideration is also beneficial at times.

The next project is taking the nudity a step further in order to explore ideas of objectification.  Using myself as a model and subject I intend to examine my thoughts about being a women in the world generally and more specifically in the art world; how this opens avenues of potential vulnerability but also strength, having a voice particular to me as a woman in a patriarchal world.

So this painting has been a bit more difficult than the other two for various reasons.  As discussed in the previous entry some distortion of the canvas was occurring with the uneven application of paint.  However, this was pretty easy to overcome and has now shown itself to be the least of my worries.  As shown in the image below there are visible white specks on the surface of the canvas.  These were added by me to cover over the first marks I made on this image as I have done in all the others, the moles.  These act as anchor points for me when painting.  They help me to keep the colours right in relation to the layout etc.  Unfortunately I rushed into getting the first marks on and put them in the wrong place.  In my haste to cover them over and start again I used the white cover paint quite thickly.  For some unknown reason, no matter how many layers of paint I’ve added over these marks as the painting progresses, they always pull through.  Nothing sticks!!!  Pretty distressingly I came to a point, having worked on the painting for days, where I needed to decide whether or not to carry on and hope for the best or make an attempt at covering over the specks by re-coating the whole canvas.

Hannah Maynard, 2014, photo of studio space

It was a big decision to start again but I couldn’t see any other way round it.  I wasn’t prepared to take the chance of working more only to find they still came through.

Despite the setback I’ve managed to find a bit more rhythm in the work and been able to push the painting to a more completed stage as seen below.

Hannah Maynard, 2014, photo of studio space

However, having now found myself at a bit of an emotional and energetic block I’m starting to think that there might be more fundamental reasons underlying the lack of progression with this particular piece of work.

I took the opportunity last week, having been keeping in touch with Matt Darbyshire after working for him over the summer, to send him a couple of pictures of this series of paintings.  Something he said in his response made me think of things in a different way.  I realised that for a while I’d been trying to make these works which I’d started months ago when working on a different path, fit onto the path that I have found myself following more recently.  I had been confusing myself by trying to alter the meaning of the paintings.  In fact, their meaning doesn’t need changing.  They just need to be finished so that they can stand as works in their own right, fulfilling their original purpose.  One of the most important elements of my work to me is the progression from one thing to another and, as I’m discovering, seeing how that progression leads into new and exciting projects.

As soon as I made this discovery, I felt a huge surge of adrenalin.  Things are somehow clearer again and I have a much better idea of which direction I want to move in next.  I am fascinated by my current subject matter, objectification of women.  Noticing that ideas spring out often when I’m studying articles, books etc I’m keen to keep up the study.  Not only does it help with my dissertation research but it interests me and fuels my creativity.  Very exciting!!!

It has begun!  Round three of painting.  It’s taken me a few days to start.  For some reason I find it really daunting getting the first paint on.  The canvas has been looming over me in my studio space like a shadow.

First paint on Canvas Three, 2014, Hannah Maynard, photo of studio space

Initially I was concerned about the rippling in the centre of the canvas and don’t like the idea of having to re-stretch it before being able to move on.  However, I realised that this is the first time one of these images has had any blank space in it and hoped that these ripples in the fabric are a result of that and will stretch out as more paint goes on, specifically in the centre.

No more ripples, 2014, Hannah Maynard, photo of studio space

I had a brainwave and slapped a bit of white into the middle where the ripples were most prominent and thankfully it seems to have solved the problem.  I think also it might be good to continue this as having a layer of white in the areas that will eventually be white anyway should help me to keep a crisper edge on the legs.

One of the integral projects of this year is one which deals with issues of self, specifically warped body image. I became interested earlier this year with obsessive behaviour to do with slimming and the extremes some people go to in order to adhere to their warped perception of beauty.  This led to an interest in particular parts of the body that people focus on when following extreme weight loss regimes.  I noticed an obsession with for example, prominent collar bones, ribs, a gap between the thighs and so on.  I wanted to explore the ways in which these areas and others are studied so minutely and work towards ways of altering the obsessive focus, change the way the body is regarded and make the viewer think about it in a different way, warped from a different angle.

Untitled, 2014, Hannah Maynard, acrylic on canvas, 120x120cm

The image above, although not fantastic quality shows the first in the series.  The canvas is 120cm sq and was painted in a rush over five days in order to be shown in an exhibition in Marylebone, London earlier this year.

There’s been a decent gap between finishing this painting and moving on to the next which has allowed me to take time to consider the reasons for the project.  Over the past few months my attention has become more focused on artworks with feminist themes, particularly the work of Sarah Lucas.  As my studies have led me further into the world of feminism and its key concerns I have become more engrossed in it and even more excited by Lucas’s work and the prospect of tackling similar issues in my own.  Now that the dissertation is upon us and I have chosen to apply these studies to it, I have found that all elements of my work are centred on a feminist focus.  (Nobody is more surprised than myself!)

Untitled, 2014, Hannah Maynard, acrylic on canvas, 120x120cm

As this project and others are progressing I am finding interesting ways of integrating them and therefore, showing how the theme runs inherently through my current work.  Another work currently in the process of being developed features these paintings shown in an exhibition, acting as important factors in the meaning of that next project.

I’m thoroughly enjoying painting again and looking forward to observing the progress of this series.