Experience, Create, Review, Repeat

I want to take a minute to explore in a bit more depth some of the shifts that have been happening in my work over the last few months.

The last major project I feel I developed and saw through to a complete piece of work was my ‘Ego Massage’ sculpture.

Examples of Ego Massage Project Work

In this project I was exploring ideas of elitism in the art world and an aspect of ‘look but don’t touch’ in relation to art.  Despite this being a very different subject matter to concepts of feminism, looking back, it was in this project that I really started the process of questioning.  It was at this time that I was really getting into the conceptual side of art and discovering new ways of pushing boundaries I didn’t before understand let alone feel capable of attempting to break.

Having started to become aware of new ways of pushing myself and my work I happened upon an exhibition of works by Sarah Lucas at the Whitechapel Gallery in London.

http://www.whitechapelgallery.org/about/press/sarah-lucas-situation-absolute-beach-man-rubble/

Au Naturel, 1994, Sarah Lucas (mattress, water bucket, melons, oranges, cucumber, 84x168x145cm)

Available at: http://www.saatchigallery.com/aipe/sarah_lucas.htm

That was it, crusade of feminism has begun.  Sarah Lucas is my idol and I will never look at a melon in the same way again!

With a new lust for knowledge of conceptual art and an interest in feminist issues spurred on by a growing confidence in myself both as an artist and a woman, I feel I have started to find some idea of where this new path might have started and the kind of places it might be going.

I’m tackling a feeling of confusion about my current work, how it sits with work I’ve done before and how I picture it moving forward.  Often, when I find myself in this state I find that writing my thoughts helps me to organise them somehow.

Notebook Pages

I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions about these paintings.

Where have they come from?

Where is the pursuit of this work taking me?

Is this a direction I want to follow?

I feel like, despite perhaps throwing myself into the original painting in this series as a way of padding out my current portfolio, I have found my way onto a path that could turn into something really interesting.  I guess I’m just waiting for the time when I have a better idea of what that path is and whether want to follow it.

10 PRJCT Perfection Campaign For The Unattainable

Pushing myself to work with this neon material in a different way to one which I had originally imagined has been a really interesting experienced.  Sitting in the small, dark space with nothing but the noise from the lights to listen to has encouraged me to reflect

on the material and my work in a new way.  This and other recent experiences and interactions have made me start to ask new questions about my work.

What do I want from my work?

What do I want it to achieve?  Both for me and for those that will experience it.

I think ultimately I want my work to encourage its audience to consider my subject matter in a new light somehow.

I want to be able to express my thoughts about my subject in such a way that get other people thinking about it, debating it, reflecting on it as well.  I want to be able to pose certain questions in ways that perhaps haven’t been tried before.

My current fear is that my thought patterns run into places that, particularly with my current subject matter of gender identity, can quickly become quite repellant.

I am struggling with how to work with that.

I’m not coming up with the ideas for the gratuitous shock value at all and in a lot of ways I feel that tactic is outdated anyway.

Is the shock a by-product?? Or is it something I need to harness and use?? If so, how do I do that?

A large part of the problem that I have with the repellant nature of some of the ideas I’m coming up with, is that I will often be using my own body in pretty invasive ways.  This develops a barrier of personal struggles that add a complication to my progression.  Again, this makes me question, in the same way as with the ‘shock value’, do I ignore my personal struggles and crack on regardless or do I integrate them into my work?  Are they relevant or do I put them aside?

The Labours X, Helen Chadwick, 1986

Helen Chadwick is an artist whose work I am just discovering.

Chadwick’s innovative and provocative use of a rich variety of materials, such as flesh, flowers, chocolate and fur, was hugely influential on a younger generation of British artists. Her strongly associative and visceral images were intended to question gender representation and the nature of desire.

(http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/helen-chadwick-2253)

The work shown above taken from the series Ego Geometria Sum (1983-6), shows the artist struggling under the weight of her own self image.  This was brought to mind because this is the same struggle I am trying to cope with as I work.  Do I incorporate it like Chadwick does here?

I’ve had the chance to be involved in an exciting opportunity developed by tutors and students at UCS designed to encourage a new body of work.  The 10PRJCT encourages one artist each week over a period of ten weeks to work in an installation space in the arts building on campus.  The participants are expected to develop the work based around the number ten, in whichever way they choose to view it.

10 PRJCT

I managed to pick the busiest week in my timetable to date as my work time so found it stressful at times.  However, being involved in the project was something I wanted as soon as I heard of it.  Not only is it great to be using workspaces that are a bit different to our normal studio areas, being in a different environment, on a different brief meant that my work would get shaken up a bit.

10 PRJCT brainstorming

When I first knew about the project, I struggled with the concept of adapting the theme of the number ten into my work.  Although it’s a different body of work, it made sense to me to harmonise it with my current projects.  Themes of feminism, misogyny, patriarchal values and so on run through my work, so bringing the ten theme into this would be important to me.  Brainstorming in the space brought me to the concept of ‘the perfect ten’, an issue that runs through female experience in western society on a daily basis.

10 PRJCT work begins

Having worked a lot with imagery of the female form in paintings and photography, I liked the idea of moving on to working with minimal shapes.  The dimensions of bust, waist and chest circumferences of ‘the perfect dress size ten’ developed into standard circle forms.  After a few attempts at figuring out the maths (GCSE standard at most!! come on Maynard, it’s in there somewhere) the circles stared taking shape.

Developing circle forms

Having begun to work in the space I quickly became aware of the different atmosphere when enclosed and developing a body of work completely alone.  Perhaps this feeling of isolation is added to by the lack of natural light in the room.  Sitting in a windowless box with no distraction completely altered my focus and quickly I became very intent on the work.  Working normally in the studio is a very different experience and I was interested to note the change in habits in such a different environment.

Having a tutorial in amongst this was really helpful on the other hand, as it acted as a kind of link to the outside world.  When I was following the first year of my studies via a remote learning course I found this lack of communication with other artists really detrimental.  Finding a balance between being able to work alone with a direct focus on my work and having contact with other people practising around me is clearly important.