Finding an identity as a solo artist, among other things. R&D project 08-09. Esc

After a really good and productive experience in Gower, in residence with Jenny I return to normality for a while, well for a week anyhow.

Whats been different;

I have developed a love of horses- found a male that I don’t have the upper hand over (-Darbs, an flea bitten grey horse!), miss spending day after day scouring uneven terrain in all weathers, have discovered new ways to use a blog creatively, have discovered a new confidence with text/words in performance, have found some new ways to introduce new materials into the performance work such as collage, video and drawing and have had to re adjust to viewing the world at an eye level of 5.5ft rather than 6.2ft.

With such a rich experience, excellent use of a blog ([email protected]) and new and fresh working methods I have decided to embark on another residency process. Only this time at my studio in Sandon to crack on with the much talked about ‘Sandon work’ which makes up most of the creative processes proposed in my Escalator project. I will be living out of my flat for a week, and working in my studio and in and around the village of Sandon.

The time away has given me much clarity on this work and allowed for editing and conclusion with many of the ideas I have been juggling with.

Current ideas stand at:

• 4 acts around village:-

1. Telephone box- paint, attach new door, film- youth, graffiti, social change. (Film and photo post and pre action).

2. Mend village road sign- create new signs, introduce colour.

3. Plant flowers, create shape based on “you have to go away before you can come back”. Horse shoe, curvaceous shape of sorts. To go on village green.

4. Re-design youth club poster.

• Cut grass on village green – 1 day durational project.

• Road surfaces- London- Hertford-Sandon- corn, strawberries, salt, sugar- staining.

• Presentation event in Village hall late August.

So, I find myself in Gower, its a little rainy, but today is ‘rest day’, no riding and so I find time to tell you about a blog I am keeping with Jenny, alongside this one, specifically for our residency. The address is www.huntanddarton.blogspot.com. Although its not a AN blog (Because we wanted equal access and although I have a number of times verbally sold Jenny AN membership, she has not made it happen yet ) it is a blog and like this one, forming a large part of the mini Wales project within the grander scheme of the ongoing Escalator project. The difference, that blog remains much more creative, and less chatty than this one and is working as a good tool to start to edit what we are seeing and experiencing, moving the raw material closer to some kind of interpretation and sculpting ready for further development and editing once back in England. We have been focussing specifically on collecting data relating to our growing relationship with our designated horses, people moral, langauge, chat and instructions.

Whilst ‘home’, I also decided to look for a photograph that I knew I had seen before, and of a memory that is far greater than that of just the photo, a memory of not only a day, but also a moment in which I worked with my Dad on a project I had devised- to make a hobby horse for a local hobbyhorse day being held in Wallington, the next village to ours.

The day involved a hobbyhorse show, with prizes fro best hobbyhorse, best groom, best rider etc…

I did not have a hobbyhorse so embark on designing and making one with the help of Dad. Among other things we were thrilled when we decided to get hold of some real horses hair from a horse riding centre my dad worked on as a handyman, pulled from the barbed wire fences enclosing the horses.

I would be the groom- dad the rider!

It was serious stuff, and we won!

This day sprung to mind when considering my relationship with horses, in order to prepare for the Gower residency. On Saturday, after spending the day in Colchester it sprung to mind that there were some key photos such as this one with hobbyhorse that could potentially link in with the project. Another also shown, my first riding experience at the age of 1 and an half.

Not only do these photo track my own history but again echo the enthusiasm and playful nature my parents live by and their overwhelming support in all that wanted to achieve. This is starting to take shape more in my head, and although I am aware of things potentially becoming self indulgent. I am still keen to present this information in some format that becomes more universal and interesting to others.

My uncles over from Australia, an artist and head of a Fine art practice BA course at western australia university until the recent closure of the course. I am hoping to meet him next week, and excited at the prospect of discussing work with him as an adult (the last time I saw him I was 15 or so…). I have read about much of his early work, letters my mum kept from him and find his work has parallels in places with my own investigations, performative, a love of drawing, collaborative at times and operating under a guise; a name constructed from a jumbling of his own name.

Originally my mum had arranged for him to visit her and then we would all have to be at hers that day (The siblings that is). However because of Gower i will miss this occasion and I am pleased. It would be a day controlled by my mother and would not be a true reflection of her children who are now adults. We would be seen within the 2 point 4 children setting, with a diluted identity and one shadowed by childhood and I am happy to have a reason to meet him alone and share with him who I am not who I may perceive to be..is that bad?

Finally, a bit of time again. After another hectic week lecturing, I am finally finished with that side of things until september. The next 3 months will be crucial in getting my head down with completing the rest of my proposed escalator project. Although on track (I hadn’t realised until I read back through my proposal and thought, yes, i’m doing it) theres alot of the pysical stuff left to pursue. This although gives me most pleasure is also tough and really hits home the transition from collaborative practice to solo and the gaps between collaborative performance and solo visual art bits and bobs.

So I will be residing back in Sandon (the village) daily after the next week in Gower, and plan to get more of a grip on these feelings surrounding ‘home’ memory, family, upbringing, rural life and key spaces such as the village hall and the phonebox, all of which sit deep in my own childhood, and the period of which I grew from the age of 8 to 18.

Yesterday I visit my parents and asked for a few key photos I remembered being taken in the village hall. These are of joint birthday party’s at the hall with my brother. What I really find interesting in these images is what my parents are doing to entertain and create games among the 30 or so 7-9 year olds and there enthusiasm and ability to collaborate to provide such unique and entertaining environments. i find their presence very performative and physical and hope to re-enact some of these images in the hall over the next month. Im not sure where they will lead or how interesting they are to others but I am not going down that road yet- it feeds negativity and its hard enough to dip into this past as it is!