today i’m feeling flat, uncertain and not really sure what to do.
needless to say i finished installing my work yesterday. the process of completing being more enjoyable than the completion. that’s of today for sure.
i’m tired and my hauntings in the back of my physche are awake, somehow like an anti angel.
moments like these are interesting as i require face to face communication to be able to relax and be assured that in this moment all is safe. these moments are interesting as i turn to a blog to record my thoughts, even though my blog has a history of little or no interaction with it. that lack of interaction is a concern of mine. interlectually i know that i’m simply writing stuff that is not attracting comments, emotionally it is draining as it taps negative energy within me left there some years ago unbeknowst to the person leaving it.
at this time of great triumph and optimisim inside i feel exhausted and tearful, if truth be told.
i got bored yesterday waiting for the power to be connected for my piece, i took some pictures, played with the space and the light available. i’ve played some more and added six images to my facebook page.
interacting with my online community feels easy to do however is kin to a one way conversation, i’m talking and there is no response, which fuels doubt in my ability to make anything, which fuels other thoughts.
being critical. is that referring to the way one views one’s work and thus informs the work one makes ie getting beyond the parent response to the child’s drawing of ‘oh that’s lovely’ is being more critical addressing the the balance from a parent child to an adult adult balance? if no one knows what this being critical is, how on earth can it be taken on board and used for the better?
