future focus

a week is a long time when considered as seconds. the exhibition has been open for a week now, many seconds for my thoughts. many seconds to reflect.

i have done more than just think about this exhibition, and that has been a great feeling.

so on a quiet Sunday night after my first sober relaxing weekend of the year, i feel compelled to spend some more seconds recording my thoughts in this moment. i’ll spare you the mundanities of sandwiches and green tea.

i enjoyed the opening night a lot more than i thought i would. i enjoyed interacting with the local entertainment editor and kept my thoughts to myself when it became apparent that his ‘artist talking about their work interview’ was to be recorded on a mobile phone. i know that afternoon at the national photography symposium there had been a talk about how things are different now in terms of gathering of info for publication in the press. this guy however was taking the piss. i’ve seen the other artist’s interview on you tube; the sound quality is so disappointing. i look forward to posting the link to my piece, if it makes it via Bluetooth to the web editor’s pc and on to the distributed media.

my work investigates the notion of possible futures. something i’d seen gormley say about his 4^th plinth project. in researching my piece, i knew some of the materials i was using could be influenced by heat. the heat in the gallery concerned me, and upon considering my concerns realised that within the notion of possible futures, there are conditions out of my control that affect my present, i.e. the work in the gallery would continue to explore the notion of possible futures. little did i expect a small person to respond to the work on the preview night by attempting to sit on part of the work. my investigation of possible futures had indeed manifested itself in my present actually in front of me. i was so pleased, and so relaxed and excited that it had happened. a very worried curator rushed over…i calmly said “leave it, it’s a possible future.”

upon a visit in the week, the storey of how my work was intervened with had become a storey of the man from the arts council kicking my work, and the invigilator in question, told me that as a fact. i laughed. the same invigilator told me that the work had been repaired, as it had to be that way, it was better for the aesthetics. seems a possible futures for the work in the gallery is to be compelled to be compliant because that’s the way that it has to be because the gallery needs it to be so. what ever happened to someone talking to me, the person responsible for making the work to ask me what i want? i didn’t expect a possible futures for the piece like this, however i am finding it fascinating that it is occurring.

more on that storey as it occurs. please feel free to ask for more details. i have a mobile phone equipped reporter dispatched to record the developments.

in other news…

stories of a sacking turn out to be incorrect. the long serving worker was deemed to be working for a department that was no longer required as a department, so the department was reformed. the said long serving worker was then working for a newly made department that subsequently was deemed unnecessary and so the newly appointed worker in the new department that didn’t exist any more was redundant, as there was no new department any more.

and finally the weather.

the fine weather will turn cloudy with possible storms on the horizon.

opening night.

the result of my conversation is on show, what of the conversations it has with it’s viewer’s ?

i have to be patient.

what of the videoed interview?

i’ll wait and see if they approach me.

it’s been a long journey and from which i am tired.

today i’m feeling flat, uncertain and not really sure what to do.

needless to say i finished installing my work yesterday. the process of completing being more enjoyable than the completion. that’s of today for sure.

i’m tired and my hauntings in the back of my physche are awake, somehow like an anti angel.

moments like these are interesting as i require face to face communication to be able to relax and be assured that in this moment all is safe. these moments are interesting as i turn to a blog to record my thoughts, even though my blog has a history of little or no interaction with it. that lack of interaction is a concern of mine. interlectually i know that i’m simply writing stuff that is not attracting comments, emotionally it is draining as it taps negative energy within me left there some years ago unbeknowst to the person leaving it.

at this time of great triumph and optimisim inside i feel exhausted and tearful, if truth be told.

i got bored yesterday waiting for the power to be connected for my piece, i took some pictures, played with the space and the light available. i’ve played some more and added six images to my facebook page.

interacting with my online community feels easy to do however is kin to a one way conversation, i’m talking and there is no response, which fuels doubt in my ability to make anything, which fuels other thoughts.

being critical. is that referring to the way one views one’s work and thus informs the work one makes ie getting beyond the parent response to the child’s drawing of ‘oh that’s lovely’ is being more critical addressing the the balance from a parent child to an adult adult balance? if no one knows what this being critical is, how on earth can it be taken on board and used for the better?

back into the rigours of the gallery again today. i’ve had the last three days off. needed it after the two days spent in the gallery.

i’m still sitting with the word critical. the longer that there is no feedback, the more inclined i am to go with the results of my own research. streuth does that sound like a threat? it’s not a threat, however i’ve thought it possible to read as a threat and as such it’s possible and oh no, i wouldn’t want to do anything to pose a threat.

my research continues while slaving away in a hot gallery to finish the work ready for the appreciative audience on friday. does amuse me that there appears to be three streams of invitation happening for the preview event, what could possibly go wrong on the nite ?

ps i’ve got an embed video box on this page…cool will have to think about some video to upload…

i am aware of my quite poor blog keeping. i am envious of alex’s blog, it reads really well and i am drawn into his world.

i’ve been asked to do an interview.

thing is, just how far do i want the world to enter my world ? how far am i prepared to go in telling the world what i am doing? i’m in agreement with duffy and hemsworth that the work is the statement, and ultimatley, according to hemsworth the rest is bullshit. if the rest is bullshit, why is there so much emphasis on talking about the work? is it some sort of general lack of getting visual communication and thus it has to be backed up by traditional words, a kind of keeping an eye on the subversives. making sure that what the visual statement says isn’t too questioning and pushing the ideals of people too much.

i wonder if art as a service to the public is in danger of becoming very safe and fluffy and purely entertaining as we wouldn’t want to upset or offend the public, for they might not attend our show of our art.

gormley spoke about testing what it is to be human. what actually is it to be human? how many of us are able to truely individually say what being human is? asking questions seems to be the important thing, it’s something that is a function of intelligence and i think we are the most intelligent animal on the planet, so someone will offer an answer. answers to what though? questions set up by individuals we may never meet yet they have an affect on us. what happens when we can ask a question, do we ask it, or are we quiet as we spend so long being quiet.

if one meets a succession of people, how long before the pattern of quietness ness is noticed and the next time a meeting occurs, the silence is challenged by asking a question.

i was raised in a manner that has left me in a questionable position, i think i have to maintain questions, so i can ask questions of others.

and finally is a question the beginning of a conversation. if more questions were asked…would there be more conversations.