future focus

i’ve overcome several days is angst ridden frozen ness ness, derived from the thought of the presentation next monday.

i’ve not experienced anything quite like it, well there was a time in a hall in erfurt or somewhere in germany on the first night of a european tour.

i’ve discovered there is such a thing as anticipation anxiety.

i’ve experienced a several day long bout of it.

optimistically i am over it and able to create for the presentation.

mash and haggis.xx

more working on the dvd structure today. it has a form now that will hold the content i want to explore.

i need to make a maquette for the container of the content.

i also have more filming and editting to do.

no formal meetings for this project until the 22nd, so it appears all safe and sound until then. there are of course other things happening, so staying focussed and driven until the 22nd is i feel a must. i write that and in my senario self can hear made up comments about what i’ve written.

i wonder if i carry a generational weight of expectation with me. i wonder if there is a possibility that there might be a way to express that within this piece of work.

it’s early february and my sun deficiancy is with me once again. tiredness and general fed up ness intersect with the bouts of happines and making.

iron rich food and tea.xxxx

i awoke from a nightmare this morning

small dwarfs on tricycles

pink trousers, 2 t shirts and a shirt

carpets that were alive, cardboard stuck in lifts

weighing machines

steel

wobbly ladders.

i awoke from a nightmare this morning.

unfulfilled expections of consultation

and image gathering

a one way system

parking fine

under preparation

and over indulgent

rigging realisation.

i awoke from a nightmare this morning.

after porridge i ventured out to do some gathering of material to work with. in the public sphere with an optical recording device has become daunting and the memory of my experience in norwich last april still weighs on my mind.

back in the studio, the joy of playing with material, manipulating and changing it’s form. so good to see things only previously imagined. again visually is so much more interesting than imagined. again seeing visually setting up new unimagined paths.

in the afternoon, an email, there’s a presentation in three weeks time about the work and all things getting the work into the gallery. no pressure.

we had the first meeting on monday. this actually seems real now, i am working towards showing a new piece of work in quad in may.

it’s so exciting !