Getting paid

I have a working week at the moment, which is odd, and making me a little annoyed (I want my autonomy back now please), but having work and a little planning ahead are also things to be grateful for, I know.

I am going into schools doing big cardboard den/building kinds of things – knackering and loud – then have 5/6 hours cataloguing to do every evening, and full days of it at weekends. Not forever, but I am getting behind with so much already. It’s easier being in Yorkshire because I am in a hotel, so I can just get into pyjamas and crack on cataloguing. It’s satisfying too, working so hard and I am glad to be busy to take my mind off other things (see previous post).

At the back of my mind new things are growing, mainly some work I want to make, a film of crushed and collapsed things, and some text/book work and sculpture around eggs and the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Sounds random I know, but it makes perfect sense to me.

These will have to wait. I really have to apply for some research funding somewhere down the line – although I feel lost and unsure about where to start. Arts Council route always seems unlikely, but probably more so at the moment. I think I know a few people who’ve had R & D funding, so I shall have to see if they are willing to offer some pointers. I will have to have a very good think about these things in my week off in July. Wait, that would be working though. Oh shit. Perhaps I will sleep for four days and think/read/write for three, but only about nice things, with wine and barbeques. That’s not a bad compromise.

Tomorrow is meetings at Yorkshire Sculpture Park so I am looking forward to a good furkle round the education archive and a delicious lunch – seriously, the restaurant there is amazing. There is also the new David Nash show to see and I have heard rumours of a drawing workshop involving Jenny West…. I hope I get to meet her, I LOVE her work, but most likely it won’t be her day. I am also getting the proofed version of the bursary book back, so I am fairly terrified of that. It’s hard not to take these things personally, even though I spotted a typo as soon as I’d emailed it through! At least I won’t get lost; I have spent the last two days doing many extra miles trying to find schools and meet people – my sat nav doesn’t have wakefield’s new roads on and it hates me.

Talk about crash and burn. Why is it that even though I know this always happens after a big install, I am never prepared for it. All I can say is a big grey cloud is stubbornly loitering.

I find the competative aspect of this exhibition pretty difficult and the whole award ceremony thing just seems horrendous. I did just email Ian to check they weren’t going to make us sit on a stage this year (the poor sods last year did). I don’t think I could do that – all those people watching your reaction, infact, all those people just looking at you! I am sure my uncontrollable blushing may return from high school if we were on a stage. NO NO NO.

Anyway, sometimes I have to wonder about my moods – my aunt who died last month had Bi-polar and my mum and sister have some pretty similar behavioural traits, as do I. But bugger that – I’m not even going there while they are just moods, i.e. they go away in a few days. Most of it is anxiety I reckon, which comes straight from stressing out. There just has to be a way of being busy and working hard, but in a less extreme way, right? I am already looking forward to July with joy and dread, nothing to do = bliss, but nothing to do also means I’m not working and no money will be coming in. More consistentcy please.

Anyway, the big thing that I am looking forward to in the summer is some time to research. I realised during A Curriculum and getting work ready for the Liverpool Art Prize how amazing time to play is. Figure things out, mess things up and ultimately see a bit of development. At the moment that mainly consists of collecting envelopes and undoing them. There are some beautiful patterns out there!

Tomorrow I am going back to Yorkshire Sculpture Park, and will be there working with school groups for the next five weeks solid. I feel exhausted just anticipating it! What a relief to not have to collect recycled materials any longer though, Dan will be estatic :D

Right, enough moaning, sorry about that. I’ll be more cheerful next time, I promise.

Hi there.

It’s been a while again hasn’t it? All my energy has been going into getting through everything at the moment. There’s still a lot on, but I can see the end in sight a bit more now (july 19th!!).

My copy of Vision Magazine arrived in the post this morning, which was nice to see. It’s a fashion/lifestyle magazine published in China. I have a teeny section in the discovery part showing Inhabitant. The editor emailed me in March saying

I would like to report your work “Inhabitant ” in our VISION DISCOVERY Section, which is a special section telling of fresh and good ideas in all fields.
I feel “inhibitant” is very good and want to show it in VISION DISCOVERY.

I liked my cardboard adventures being described as very good. The magazine is a pretty beautiful thing too, lots of matt paper and photography/art content. So, very pleased to be in it basically.

http://www.youthvision.cn/

The Liverpool Art Prize opened on Thursday night. Apart from nearly falling through a banner while having my photo taken (thought it was solid), I managed to be pretty respectable all night. I loved working in there, making new things, so when people asked me if I was pleased with the work, I was. That’s not the same as thinking it’s great though, and there is (as usual) many things I would change/develop. Anyway, it’s up, no one kicked anything or got killed by the tower, so a success all round.

http://www.liverpoolartprize.com/

Been thinking about the set-up of LAP though and must send some feedback or suggestions or something. It has cost about £200 to make the work I did, with no money available to help with that. I wonder if the prize money might be better spent with some new-work budget i.e. all the artists get a small participation fee rather then two people winning prizes. It came at an okay time for me, so I could find that money, but ask me in 6 months and it will probably be a completely different story! Strange position to be in really, when you’re getting judged in such a wonky playing field. But I have no doubts that being in it is beneficial – apart from showing alongside some really interesting artists, having a great space and a huge audience, the LAP is sending quite a lot of traffic to my website and probably introducing a lot of people in Liverpool to my work.

Some images of the prize exhibition by sponsors Mycoy-Wynne

http://www.mccoywynne.co.uk/lap_2010/

I am now working on a printed work of Nathan Jones’ poem ‘Slow Magic’ for his opening to celebrate the end of his year as Poet-in-residence. It’s on 16th June at the Lost Soul and Stranger Service Station at the Bluecoat and it seems he has partnered up with lots of people for it. I like that approach and he is certainly spreading his funding around Liverpool! I am making a screenprinted and digitally printed thing that is a turkish-map folded paper bound in greyboard cover. I am enjoying myself immensly. Dan and I were having a look at the poem last night again and saying how much it is like art – difficult, dense but ultimately very rewarding when you spend some time and thought on it.

Details of the exhibition here: http://nathanatthebluecoat.wordpress.com/

Poem can be read here: http://mercyonline.co.uk/flatline/flatline05.pdf

My book for end of bursary at YSP is currently being proofed, so I shall get that back on Thursday and then the real book-panic begins! Pretty much shitting myself about completing such a big task when I am also working in schools solidly for the next 5 weeks. But it will be done, must just make sure I’m not mean to Dan for the duration; he usually bears the brunt of my stress and it’s just not fair! It’s also been a nice task to do though, so I’m looking forward to it, just DAUNTED! It shall be great practice for compiling a catalogue for my show there next year though (I won’t be so hands on with that one though).

Right back to the poem, and some schlepping around in my pyjamas.