Talk about crash and burn. Why is it that even though I know this always happens after a big install, I am never prepared for it. All I can say is a big grey cloud is stubbornly loitering.
I find the competative aspect of this exhibition pretty difficult and the whole award ceremony thing just seems horrendous. I did just email Ian to check they weren’t going to make us sit on a stage this year (the poor sods last year did). I don’t think I could do that – all those people watching your reaction, infact, all those people just looking at you! I am sure my uncontrollable blushing may return from high school if we were on a stage. NO NO NO.
Anyway, sometimes I have to wonder about my moods – my aunt who died last month had Bi-polar and my mum and sister have some pretty similar behavioural traits, as do I. But bugger that – I’m not even going there while they are just moods, i.e. they go away in a few days. Most of it is anxiety I reckon, which comes straight from stressing out. There just has to be a way of being busy and working hard, but in a less extreme way, right? I am already looking forward to July with joy and dread, nothing to do = bliss, but nothing to do also means I’m not working and no money will be coming in. More consistentcy please.
Anyway, the big thing that I am looking forward to in the summer is some time to research. I realised during A Curriculum and getting work ready for the Liverpool Art Prize how amazing time to play is. Figure things out, mess things up and ultimately see a bit of development. At the moment that mainly consists of collecting envelopes and undoing them. There are some beautiful patterns out there!
Tomorrow I am going back to Yorkshire Sculpture Park, and will be there working with school groups for the next five weeks solid. I feel exhausted just anticipating it! What a relief to not have to collect recycled materials any longer though, Dan will be estatic :D
Right, enough moaning, sorry about that. I’ll be more cheerful next time, I promise.
